Total Drama Reloaded
by HoldOnItsMPaul
Summary: Total Drama is back for another season, but this time, Chris is feeling a twinge of nostalgia, and has only brought back the campers from season 1 after a couple years. Several couples have broken up and friendships have dissolved! Can the contestants rekindle old relationships? And who can win the 10,000,000 dollars? Find out on Total Drama Reloaded! (NOTE: Adult situations shown)
1. Prologue

The studio was completely dark. The cameraman couldn't see two feet in front of him.

He hit the "record" button. "Josh, Blaineley, we're a go." Suddenly, the lights flashed on. The Celebrity Manhunt intro played on the giant screens located around the studio, and the show's intro music blared from large speakers located next to the screens. Josh and Blaineley turned and faced the camera.

"Greetings, Manhunters!" bellowed Josh. The 35-year old host, was, as always, dressed very sharply, with his trademark oversize red bow tie and black suit coat over a white dress shirt. "I'm Josh!" The camera panned to the tall, skinny woman seated next to him. She had long, dyed blonde hair, wore a pretty little red dress, and had a very nice rack. She'd often caught Josh staring at it, but that was her intention wearing such a little dress after all - to get people looking at it. "And I'm Blaineley! And welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt! We'd like to start off by retracting a story from yesterday's episode." "Yes," continued Josh, "Yesterday we reported that Shawn got Jasmine pregnant. However, as Jasmine's lawyers have informed us multiple times, this story is false. We once again would like to apologize for the mistake."

"But, now, onto our main story tonight," stated Blaineley. "It's been three years since the Total Drama series stopped production without warning after Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race. It was a tragic day indeed. Since then, there has never been any confirmation or even hint that it would ever be renewed! But we've received information from inside Total Drama Production that there will be some big Total Drama news dropping TONIGHT! Our source is on the phone right now, and has requested that he be called "Potenza." On one of the large monitors in the studio, a video feed of a man entirely shrouded in shadow was displayed. "Hello, Potenza!" said Josh. "How are you?" "I'm doing absolutely perfect!" said Potenza, whose voice was computerized. "Even more perfect when I drop this Total Drama bombshell on you guys!" "Wait, YOU'RE dropping the bombshell?" said Josh. "I thought you said Total Drama Production was dropping this news!" A slight chuckle came from Potenza's end. "Funny thing about that…"

Suddenly, the lights came on in Potenza's feed. His voice became unscrambled. Blaineley and Josh were staring into the face of Chris McLean. "I AM Total Drama Production!" "Overdramatic much?" asked Josh nonchalantly. "What, you're not surprised?" asked Chris, semi-shocked. "No, the fact that Potenza used to be your stage name kind of gave it away," deadpanned Blaineley, "we were just playing it up for dramatic effect." "Oh," said Chris, "That's a little bit disappointing." "Get to the point, McLean," said Josh. "Fine," said Chris. "You have no idea how happy I am to be announcing…"

Blaineley and Josh waited in anticpation.

"…that Total Drama has been renewed for another season!"

Blaineley and Josh cheered and did their trademark fist bump. "CELEBRITY MANHUNT EXCLUSIVE!" they screamed together.

"I'm back, bitches!" cackled Chris.


	2. Return of the Competitors!

(Opening Credits)

(The four spotlights pop out yet again. Each one is slightly worse for ware, but nonetheless, functional. The clap-board claps. Zoom through camp past a rabbit, the cabins, the confessional, and Chef screaming at some interns, who are polishing one of the cabins.)

"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine."

(Up the cliff and down into the lake.)

"You guys are on my mind."

(In the water, Cody and Owen open a treasure chest at the bottom of the lake. A shark pops out of it and bares its teeth, Cody becomes startled and quickly swim away)

"You asked me what I wanted to be,"

(The shark surfaces and pulls off its head…it's Izzy in disguise. She and Owen laugh, and Owen hugs her.)

"And now I think the answer is plan to see."

(Over in the forest, Lindsay and Tyler are making out. Meanwhile, Heather is glaring at them. Harold is looking at her lovingly. She turns around and snaps at him, and he screams and runs away.)

"I wanna be…famous!"

(Pan to the waterfall. Geoff and Bridgette are in the canoe, with Bridgette looking rather disgusted with him. The canoe goes over the fall, and both scream.)

"I wanna live close to the sun."

(Pan down to the log. Ezekiel is shakily trying to maintain his balance while walking across it as Geoff and the canoe fall behind him. Bridgette lands in his arms, and they blush and smile at each other, before the log snaps, sending them falling too.)

"Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won."

(Sadie is leaning on the confessional, watching the whole thing unfold, but it tips and falls, knocking Katie out of the inside.)

"Everything to prove, nothing in my way."

(Into one of the cabins. DJ, and Justin are talking casually, while Noah runs out of the cabin, holding his nose and with a disgusted look on his face.)

"I'll get there one day."

(Into the other side of the cabin. Leshawna is watching Eva lift weights casually. Leshawna looks scared.)

"Cuz I wanna be…famous!"

(Down to the beach. Trent is sitting on a log playing his guitar, and Beth is clapping.)

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!"

(Pan over to Courtney shouting at Duncan on a platform floating at sea, Duncan is covering his ears and looking annoyed.)

"I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"

(Suddenly, Chris swoops down between the two in his jetpack, surprising them. Courtney falls off the platform in shock and Duncan laughs. Chris flies up to the camera, winks at it, and flies upwards. The flames from his jetpack provide transition to the next scene. Bridgette and Ezekiel sit in front of the fire, Zeke looks at Bridgette lovingly, and she's looking at him in the same way.)

"I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"

(Chris lands behind the two, causing them to look shocked. Zoom out to reveal all 21 contestants around the fire, and the season's logo.)

Chris McLean stood on the dock outside a large island. He was leaning on a sign that read, "Camp Remanier" and sipping out of a coconut. Chris flashed the dazzling smile that had gotten him his job, then threw his coconut in the water. "Greetings, Total Drama Fam, and welcome to season 7 of our show! In the past 6 seasons we've been through a lot together. Lots of gimmicks thought up by the producers to bring in some views! But that all is about to change! We've decided to go back to our roots!"

The camera zoomed out and revealed that the island that Chris was standing in front of looked exactly like Camp Wawanakwa, the original home for the Total Drama series. Like, down to the one thousand foot cliff, the outhouse confessional, everything was exactly the same. The only changes were that the crappy old cabins had been replaced with large, spiffy, brand new wood cabins. "As you can see," said Chris, "We're back where it all began! Camp Wawanakwa! Well, sort of. You see, Camp Wawanakwa kind of sank into the lake a couple seasons ago. BUT, lucky for us, we did some scouting and found a island that looked exactly like it! Lucky us! This place is called 'Camp Remanier!' French for 'rehash'." Chris winked at the camera. "And looking at how similar this place looked to Camp Wawanakwa, the producers got nostalgic for season 1! So they thought, 'why not bring back the contestants from season one?' I thought it was great idea. Several of our favorite couples have grown apart because of stuff like college, so I can one hundred percent guarantee you that we're in for some incredibly awkward reunions!" Chris' teeth gleamed in the sunlight. "This is gonna be a fun season! Our contestants should be arriving any second! Actually, I think I see the first boat, bringing our first contestant!"

Sure enough, a small, sleek cruiser, the same one that had brought our favorite contestants to the island in season one, pulled up to the docks and its only passenger, a tall, skinny, incredibly muscular young man wearing a cowboy hat on top of messy long blonde hair staggered out of it. His only other articles of clothing were a pink sleeveless muscle shirt, a grass skirt, and sandals. Geoff had arrived. "Geoff! What up, man!" cried Chris. Geoff staggered around, very nearly falling into the water three times, before finally coming to a rest leaning against Chris. "Heymanwassup?" said Geoff in very slurred speech. "Did you come right from college Geoff?" chuckled Chris. "Sure did!" said Geoff. Just then, he turned and looked straight in the camera. "Shoutout to my Omega Kappa Bros!" he shouted. Chris shoved him to the ground, "Great to have you, Geoff. Go over there."

Chris then turned around. "Oh look, our next camper has arrived!" Another boat pulled up to the dock, and out stepped a tall, muscular woman in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs, escorted by two burly men. She wore a large, uncomfortable looking shock collar around her neck. "Eva! What's up?" said a confused Chris. "I got arrested after I cut a bitch," said Eva. "Oh," said Chris. "She deserved it! She stole my MyPad!" shouted Eva. "Officers, I got this," said Chris. "You guys can leave. The officers nodded. One of them unlocked Eva's handcuffs while the other threw Chris what appeared to be a remote control. "That's the control to her shock collar. She makes one wrong move, push that button." With that, the officers stepped into the boat, and it took off. "Oooh, this is gonna be fun," said Chris, rubbing his hands together and grinning maniacally.

"A-hem," said a female voice. "Hasn't anyone noticed that I'm here?" Chris turned around, and his jaw practically hit the ground. Lindsay had always been hot before, but Chris almost got a little soggy down there just looking at her now. I mean sure, before, she had nice, big, perky tits and a slappable ass, but now, good lord. Her tits were Kate Upton sized, if not bigger, and each ass cheek was about the size of a fucking globe. Not to mention, she looked hot, not even wearing any mascara. Chris looked back, and Geoff was drooling too. "He-hey Linds," said Geoff. "Hey, Geoffy!" winked Lindsay. "Lindsay, you seem-" Chris began. "Smarter? Yeah, I know. I was the first volunteer for an experiment some hotshot scientists were conducting to restore IQ points. I've now got a nice 29.5% IQ!" "That's still below average," muttered Eva under her breath. "Anyways, I should get out the way so the next contestant can get here!" With that, Lindsay strutted over to where Geoff and Eva were standing, Chris's eyes following her asscheeks while they bobbed up and down.

"Dude." said the next contestant. "Did-did you just see that?" "I sure did, Cody, I sure did. Hey! It's Cody everyone!" Chris shook hands with the formerly skinny and short boy, who was now considerably taller, more muscular, and more handsome. He wore a baggy tan sweatshirt and black jeans. "Welcome back, Cody!" "Uh, thanks Chris." And with that, Cody walked over to where the other contestants were standing, his eyes glued to Lindsay's tits, the blonde completely oblivious. Eva and Geoff were oblivious too, as the three were all awestruck at the next arrival. "Is that who I think it is?" said Eva. "I think it is!" said Geoff, before hiccuping. "It can't be, That's too skinny to be him!" said Lindsay.

"Oh, but it is him!" said Chris. "Owen my man, what's up?!" A short, skinny, but incredibly buff young man walked onto the dock. "Hey Chris," he said in an incredibly deep voice. "How's it going? Great to be back!" "I've gotta be honest Owen, I almost didn't recognize you at first! But your maple leaf shirt gave it away!" "Oh, yeah," said Owen, "I kind of realized I was getting too fat when the guys at my school started using me as a secret weapon for dodgeball. So, I started going to the gym for eight hours every day and pumping iron! Now, I've got this awesome bod!" "Noice!" said Chris. "Go over there with your fellow campers!" "Oh my gosh!" said Owen. He run over and gave all his assembled campers a giant bear hug. "It's so great to see you guys! What has it been, three years?"

"Four, actually," said a bossy voice. A certain tall dark skinned CIT stepped onto the dock. "Courtney, everyone!" announced Chris. "Courtney, have you changed at all?" "Nope! I've maintained my perfect physique and not changed a thing about myself during the four years this show's been off the air!" "Well ain't that special," deadpanned Chris, and he shoved her over to the area with the other competitors.

Before Chris could open his mouth, the sound of AC/DC's "Shoot To Thrill" filled the air, as the next boat pulled up. A tall skinny man with a full mustache and beard jumped out of the boat carrying a boombox. When he landed on the dock, he flipped it off. His familiar green mohawk was gone, but his piercings were still intact. Duncan had arrived. "Duncan! What up man? What did you do to your mohawk?" "It was going out of style, my friend!" said Duncan. "Gotta stay up to date on what's cool and what's not!" "And how did you get out of prison?" "Good behavior." "I FIND THAT QUITE HARD TO BELIEVE!" shouted Courtney. "So, you got rid of the mohawk and went for the axe murderer look instead?" "Oh, hey, look, it's little miss sunshine!" sneered Duncan. As he walked over to the other contestants' area, he shoved Courtney into the water. "Hey Geoff. Eva, love the collar. Lindsay, nice tits. Cody, I like the hoodie. Looks like you just broke out of prison and threw that on as a disguise. Owen, can't say I like your new look, but I CAN say I love it!" "D'aww!" said Owen, and he grabbed Duncan in a bear hug. "Even your bearhugs are still awesome," winced Duncan.

Chris turned as the next boat roared up. A tall skinny Asian girl stepped out of it. She wore sunglasses, a nice business suit, and was talking on the phone. "Hey Heather! What's going-" Heather held up her finger, as if to gesture, 'one second.' "No, I don't care if they have video evidence of it," she said into her phone, "I want him to be found innocent, understood? I'll pay you whatever money you want for that to happen, just make it happen." "Uh, Heather, everybody!" said Chris, and Heather walked over to where everyone else was standing.

"Hey Chris man!" said the next contestant. DJ was carrying his bags, and, strangely enough, wore wire-rimmed glasses. "Hey, Deej! You look, uh, different!" "Yeah, I know," said DJ. "Doc said I was spending too much time studying the online textbook on my MyPhone, and my eyes got damaged, so I need these stupid things!" "That's all right, man, just go over there!" said Chris, patting the gentle giant on the back.

Just as DJ moved out of the way, the next boat roared up. Out of it stepped a tall, tan, muscular teen wearing a green sweatshirt and a beanie. He was clean shaven and had incredibly short hair. Chris sighed when he introduced him. "Ezekiel, everyone. Welcome back," he said, totally monotone. "Thanks Chris!" smiled Ezekiel in a show of genuine friendliness. "You know, ever since the doctors injected me with that drug that fixed me up from being that weird feral thing, I've started looking at life a totally different way, eh?" "Well that's," Chris yawned in the middle of his sentence, "very interesting, but we don't have all day. Head on over there, Freak Zeke." Ezekiel did so without protest, and the next boat pulled up.

Out of the boat stepped a sweaty, handsome man wearing a blue tracksuit. "Sorry I'm so tired man, I was running my daily 300 laps in preparation for the Olympics, and missed my boat. I had to swim halfway across the lake to catch up to it."

"That's perfectly alright, Tyler," said Chris, "We're just glad to have you! Hey, the old couple is back!" Chris pushed Tyler over to Lindsay. "Um, hi, Linds." said Tyler. "Hi, Tyler," said Lindsay. "Wow, the awkwardness is so thick you could cut it with a friggin' knife," said Duncan. "Yeah, since Tyler and Lindsay went off to different colleges all the way across the country, they had to break off their relationship! Maybe they'll be able to rekindle it?" "I, uh, have a boyfriend," said Lindsay, clearing her throat.

"Hey, that's my line!" came a shout from the distance. Chris looked out and saw a girl surfboarding towards the dock. She jumped up, made a flip, and landed perfectly on the dock. "Hey, it's Bridgette!" said Chris, "Now we've got two couples reunited!" "Not exactly," said Bridgette angrily. "What?" said Chris. "What happened between you and Geoff?" "Oh God, not this again, said Geoff, face palming." "YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THAT BITCH MADISON WALKER!" shouted Bridgette. "NO I DIDN'T! I JUST GOT DRUNK AND MADE OUT WITH HER! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING BABE!" retorted Geoff. "While this is very, VERY entertaining, our next competitor has arrived!" Chris pushed Geoff and Bridgette aside to make room for…

"Beth!" "Hey Chris!" Beth wore an official looking uniform and sunglasses. "So, I understand you work for the government now?" "I do indeed, but they let me have this month off, since they know how much this show means to me!" "How nice of them," drawled Chris.

Just then, the next boat pulled up, but strangely enough, nobody came out. "Uh, did they forget to pick our next camper up?" asked Chris. From inside the boat, however, there came shouting. "You can't make me go out there! Unhand me! Hey!" And with that, Gwen was unceremoniously chucked out of the boat, onto the dock. "Dick!" said Gwen, brushing herself off. "It's Gwen everyone!" "Yeah, hi and stuff," muttered Gwen. She looked very different. She wasn't wearing any makeup or anything goth at all for that matter, and instead had a nice dress and jewelry on. Gwen had become a model during the time in between seasons, and her bosses didn't like the goth look.

"Wow," said a voice from behind her. "Girl, you be hogging my spotlight!" Gwen turned around, and promptly gave Leshawna a big hug. "Hey, how do you think you did on that final in Mr. Anders' class?" she asked. "I think the better question is, does it matter?" quipped Leshawna. She and Gwen broke into roaring laughter. Both of them attended Alexander A. Murray College, and, in fact, the two were even a part of the same sorority. Leshawna had mostly not changed her appearance, and the only difference was that instead of kumquats, her shirt now bore apples. "Yeah, yeah, we're not here for school, we're here for a reality show!" shouted Chris, gesturing the two over to where the other competitors were standing. Duncan waved. "Hey Gwen!" Gwen rolled her eyes and she and Leshawna walked over, but not before Leshawna sized up Chris. "Mph, same arrogant know-it-all as always!"

"Hey!" said Chris. "I will not let you talk about Noah that way. Sure enough, Noah had arrived on the island. He had ditched his "schoolboy" attire he was so well known for and instead was now wearing a beanie and a sweater. He was carrying a mocha in one hand and had one earbud in his ear. "Oh dear god," said Bridgette, "He's turned into a hipster!"

"I was a hipster before it was cool," said Noah. As he walked over to where the other contestants were standing, Heather tripped him, and he fell into the water. Everyone stared at her. "What? Just because I'm a lawyer doesn't mean I can't have a LITTLE fun, right?"

"GOSH!" came a voice. Harold stepped onto the dock. The only thing that had changed about him was that his soul patch had grown into a full on goatee. A very silly looking goatee. All the contestants busted up laughing. "What is it you guys?" asked an oblivious Harold. In between laughs, Geoff got out, "It looks like someone taped some pubes to your face!" "That's so nasty Geoff, GAWSH!" shouted Harold as he walked over and stood with his peers.

"Speaking of nasty," said Beth, making a disgusted face at the contestant who had just arrived. Everybody turned to look at him, and agreed with Beth's statement. Justin was not the pretty boy he once was. He had acne all over his face, greasy hair all over his body, and he stank like a dumpster. "Dear lord!" shouted Chris, pulling a gas mask seemingly out of nowhere and slipping it on. "What?" said Justin. "I'm not that bad, am I?" "Of course not," deadpanned Chris. "Why don't you go sit…up there?" he said, pointing to a branch near the top of a large tree. Justin sighed, and headed off towards the tree.

When Justin had reached the branch, Chris removed his gas mask. "That was terrifying," he said. "But you know what's even more terrifying? Our next contestant, Izzy!" Just then, a UFO flew out of the sky, and its bottom opened up. A beam of light came down and deposited Izzy on the dock. "Thanks, honey!" she shouted up to the UFO as it flew away. "Crazy as always, it's great to have you back here!" said Chris. Izzy backflipped over to where the other contestants were standing, accidentally kicking DJ in the face an almost knocking off his glasses. "DUDE! BE CAREFUL! THESE ARE $200 GLASSES!" "Sorr-ry!" drawled Izzy.

A loud, annoying "EEEEEE!" was heard, and Katie and Sadie ran from their boat to the dock. "Hi everyone!" they said together. "We're so excited to be back!" "Oh god no," said Duncan. "Not these two." "Katie and Sadie, for those of you who don't know, have recently gone through the same test Lindsay went through. Unfortunately, the test failed, but the two's brains were basically connected. If Katie is thinking something, Sadie is thinking that same thing and vice versa! They're even more inseparable than they were before." "Wonderful, eh," said Ezekiel, rolling his eyes.

"And last but not least, our final competitor, Trent!" said Chris, as the last boat pulled up, depositing the handsome musician. "Hey Chris! I had to take a couple days off my concert tour for this, but I think it'll be worth it!" Trent wore a flashy pink and yellow jumpsuit and large, horn-rimmed glasses.

"Well, said Chris," now that everyone's here, let me show you some of the new and old features of this season! Except for you Justin, you stay up in that tree!"

The camera cut to a different angle, as Chris walked everyone past the outhouse confessional. Everyone knew the drill by now. "Now, here," he said, pointing to the two large wood cabins, "are your cabins! We had these babies built just for this new season! Both of these cabins are the exact same, no different. One for each team, you know the drill, blah blah blah." Chris then led the contestants to the dining hall. "Your 'gourmet' food this season will once again be prepared…by Chef!" "Hey Chris-Man!" called Chef, in the middle of cutting up a dead rat. "Here's your breakfast tomorrow, suckers, heheheh." cackled Chef, causing all the contestants to cringe. Chris led the campers to the campfire circle. "This procedure will be the exact same as season one. Marshmallows, voting, Boat of Losers, never come back, blah blah blah." Ezekiel raised his hand. "Do we still get to go to a five-star resort when we're eliminated, eh?" "Yes! The Boat will take you to Playa Des Losers Dos, our exact recreation of Playa Des Losers, after I turned the first one into my cottage, and then SOMEONE BLEW IT UP!" he screamed. Duncan coughed.

"So, everything this season may seem like a rehash of season one. And you're right, it pretty much is. But this season's challenges are gonna be the biggest, most dangerous, most brutal challenges this show has ever seen!" "That's what you say every season," sniffed Beth. "BUT I'M FOR REALLY REALZ THIS TIME!" Everyone gasped in horror.

WHAT HORRIFYING CHALLENGES WILL CHRIS COOK UP FOR OUR CONTESTANT? WHO'LL BE THE FIRST RESIDENT OF PLAYA DES LOSERS DOS? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER! SAME TOTAL DRAMA TIME, SAME TOTAL DRAMA CHANNEL!


	3. Diveball

Chris McLean chuckled evilly. He looked at the sorry bunch of teens standing in front of him. He knew he was in for a fun season. Just for shits and giggles, he pressed the button on the remote control for Eva's shock collar, causing her to dance like a puppet while the electricity ran through her. Chris giggled like a little boy unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. "All right, you damn young whippersnappers…" "We're all 25!" said Gwen. "Shut it!" retorted Chris. "Today, we're going to begin your first challenge. This season ain't gonna be easy. But it's gonna be worth your time. Because this season, you're not just playing for one million dollars, you're playing for TEN! MILLION! DINERO!"

All the contestants exploded into noise. "You heard me!" said Chris. "The producers poured their very hearts and souls-or more like their LACK of hearts and souls-into this season! We're going in! Balls to the wall! There ain't no going back!" This shut everyone up. "So," Izzy spoke up, "What are our challenges going to be like, oh dear host of hosts?"

"I'm so very glad you asked," said Chris. "You see, we've been looking at the statistics of some of our season one episodes. We've been looking at which challenges proved to be people's favorites and which one people seemed to hate. I think we've finally got a solid list of peoples' favorite challenges from season one!"

"So, you're just gonna give us people's favorite challenges from season one? Is this season seriously THIS MUCH of a rehash?" asked Cody. "Nope," said Chris, "We're gonna give them to you…WITH A TWIST! Each challenge will be a combination of TWO DIFFERENT SEASON ONE CHALLENGES!" "Didn't you do this kind of thing with "All-Stars"?" asked Trent. "I don't know what you're talking about, Trent, that season never happened, according to our viewers. So no. We didn't." "OK man," said Trent.

"So what is our first challenge going to be?" inquired Owen. "Oh, you'll love this one, Owen. COMPETITORS! Your first challenge is a homage to the challenge from our first episode! You're going to jump off the thousand-foot cliff, land in the shark-infested waters," "Of course they're shark infested," sniffed Geoff. "Hey, it wouldn't be this show without it," replied DJ. "ANYWHO," continued Chris, "Once you hit the water, you gotta dodge the sharks and find the treasure chest full of dodgeball buried in the sand! The first person to find the dodgeball wins the ability to pick their team AND the dodgeballs themselves for the next challenge, which is a four on four dodgeball war!" "Oh, wonderful, that challenge brings back so many good memories," said Cody, wincing in pain at the memory of being hit in the crotch by a dodgeball and looking at Gwen. "Hey, you were the one who jumped in front of it," said Gwen, "I didn't ask you to do it."

"CHILDREN!" shouted Chris. "Enough squabbling! First person to reach the top of the cliff gets to be the first to jump and the first to either find the dodgeballs or get eaten by sharks! Let the challenge begin!" And with that, all of the contestants took off for the cliff. All of the contestants, that is, except for one. "Can I come down from the tree yet?" "No, Justin!"

Tyler was in the front of the line running up the hill, sprinting as fast as he could. Duncan, Cody, and Geoff were hanging near the back, mostly so they could watch Lindsay's ass shake as she ran up the hill. Soon enough, Tyler had reached the top of the hill, and he swan dived off without even batting in eye. He made a perfect landing and began searching for the chest under the water. Soon, the other contestants had joined him underwater, and were frantically searching for the chest.

DJ was searching under a rock when suddenly, a shark started rushing towards him. He braced himself for impact, but then accidentally poked the shark in the eye with the edge of his glasses, causing it to swim away quickly in pain.

Ezekiel hit the shark trying to attack him in the face with his beanie repeatedly, while Duncan took this distraction to search around in the area Zeke was located in.

Courtney didn't stand a chance, and a shark instantly gobbled her up. Before it could swallow her, however, she started bitching at it from inside its mouth, causing it to spit her out and swim away in annoyance.

Heather threw her phone at the shark chasing her, hitting it in the nose and causing it to rush away, bleeding.

Finally, after much searching, Eva managed to find the chest and swam to the beach before anyone else could give chase to her. She surfaced, and Chris landed using his jetpack. "And Eva is the winner of our first challenge, ladies and gentleman! She wins the ability to pick her team!

The rest of the campers surfaced and complained about this, but there was nothing they could do about it. Chris told them to stand in a single file line on the beach so Eva could look at them and pick who she wanted for her time. "Hmm, let's see now. Party boy. Formerly fat guy. Nice guy. Athlete. Nerd. UFO nut. Hipster. Apples to apples. Delinquent. Formerly Goth Girl. You're on my team." So Geoff, Owen, DJ, Tyler, Harold, Izzy, Noah, Leshawna, Duncan, and Gwen all stepped over to Eva's side. "All good picks, Eva," said Chris. "From now on I dub you…the Ballers! Get it, because you've got the dodgeballs?" "You're the worst," said Heather. "At least we got picked," said Gwen, causing a large "OHHHH!" to emerge from the Ballers' side. "Now then," said Chris, "Lindsay, Ezekiel, Bridgette, Courtney, Katie, Sadie, Beth, Cody, Trent, Heather, and Justin. You guys will henceforth be known as…the Rejects!" "Ouch," said DJ. "Hey, where IS Justin?" asked Katie and Sadie. "Still up in the tree," replied Chris. "Oh," said everyone else.

Soon, everyone had relocated over to a large dodgeball court Chef Hatchet had put together. Speaking of Chef, he was sitting up on the referee's chair, shouting out rules. "THIS WILL BE A 4 ON 4 DODGEBALL TOURNAMENT! YOU GET HIT WITH THE BALL, YOU'RE OUT! YOU CATCH THE BALL, THE PERSON THAT THREW IT IS OUT! UNDERSTAND?!" "Calm your tits," sniffed Bridgette, "We get it." "GOOD!" screamed Chef even louder. "TEAM EVA!" "The Ballers," corrected Trent. "Actually, I like Team Eva," said Eva. "NEVER MIND THAT!" shouted Chef. "TAKE YA DAMN BALLS AND START THROWING THEM AT THE DAMN OTHER TEAM!"

With that, the Ballers all ran and grabbed their balls and began throwing them at the other team. Harold was taken out instantly, and the ball Courtney threw at Leshawna she caught, causing her to get out as well. Tyler scooped up a ball on the ground near him, wound up the ball, and chucked it as hard as he could…right into Lindsay's stomach, slamming her into the wall! "Oh shit!" cried Tyler. He ran across the field to check on Lindsay, who was lying on the ground in pain. "Lindsay, I'm…I'm so sorry!" "Tyler…" With that, Lindsay fell unconscious. Tyler ran up to Chef's chair to speak to him. "You need to get the emergency team over here!" "When the game is over I will." "BUT CHEF!" "Good lord, fine," said Chef, pulling out a walkie talkie and calling some interns. "Yeah, you guys know which one. The one you guys were looking at in the bathroom. The one with the big tatas? Yeah, that one." Soon enough, a group of interns had arrived with a stretcher to take Lindsay to the medical tent. Tyler insisted on quitting the game and going with them.

By this time, many of the contestants had been whittled down. Bridgette, Harold, Noah, Leshawna, Gwen, Katie and Sadie, Cody, Bridgette, DJ, Trent, and Heather had all been taken out. Justin had technically been disqualified as well since he was still just chilling in the tree. Only Eva, Geoff, Beth, Ezekiel, Owen, and Izzy were left.

"Wow, you other guys really suck at thi-" Geoff began, before he was hit in the face by a ball, knocking him out. "Wow, you really suck at this, honey," said Bridgette sarcastically.

"Well, it's just like old times, huh Big O?" smiled Izzy. "I wish you still called me that," smiled Owen. "Well then let's go get 'em!" she shouted. They absolutely unleashed against the rest of the other team, and soon, only Owen and Izzy were left on the Ballers, and Ezekiel and Eva were left. "HOW DA HELL DID HOMESCHOOL MANAGE TO STAY IN?" cried Chef. "That serum they injected me with at the hospital had some…uh, side effects! Like increasing my speed and agility, homie!" replied Ezekiel. Just then, Izzy chucked a ball at him and he caught it, meaning Izzy was out. "NO!" shouted Owen. "Finish it for me, Big O," said Izzy as she headed to the sidelines. Owen went into an absolute rage and chucked a ball so hard at Eva he hurt her. That pissed her off, and she began to charge at him. However, Chris activated her remote control, shocking her, causing Chris and Chef to giggle.

Ezekiel and Chef were the only two ones left. The Ballers were cheering for Owen. "Well,we'd better pack up and start getting ready to go, this is gonna be over soon!" called Chris. "Good game!" Owen chucked his ball at maximum velocity at Ezekiel. All of a sudden, Ezekiel did some weird Matrix style move, dodged the ball, grabbed another one sitting on the floor, and threw it at Owen, hitting him in the arm.

Ezekiel had won.

The stadium erupted into whoops and cheers. "YEAH HOMESCHOOL!" "GET IT DONE, ZEKE!" "WHOOP WHOOP!" "YOU'RE AWESOME, ZEKE!" Ezekiel was shocked since the last call was from Bridgette. Ever since the first season, Ezekiel had had the biggest crush in the world on Bridgette. He was so incredibly jealous of Geoff it wasn't even funny. When he had learned that 'Gigette' had broken up, he'd secretly hoped that he'd be able to get closer to her. Perhaps this would be the start of that. Right now, it didn't matter. Zeke was being hoisted onto his team's shoulders.

"Ezekiel wins it for his team!" called Chris. "I never thought I would ever say those words… Anyways, the Rejects are safe from elimination AND in a throwback to the first episode of the first season, you guys also win a hot tub to use for the rest of the season!" Even more whoops and hollers came from his team, and Zeke was carried out on his team's shoulders. "And as for you, Ballers, not your best work. Owen, you got taken out by homeschool. Ouch. I'll see you guys at elimination!

That evening, the Rejects were chilling in their hot tub, while the Ballers were getting ready for their first elimination ceremony. Meanwhile, Tyler was still watching over Lindsay in the infirmary. He was crying.

Soon, the elimination ceremony had arrived. First of all, Chris had to make an announcement. "Okay, so, you guys. I hope you know that the confessional is there for you to use it." "Uh we have," said Geoff. "Yeah, I've used it twice today." "Really?" said Chris. He took a peek at the confession cam in his hand. "Oh, oops! The camera lens cap was on! Well, there'll be no confessional sessions edited into this episode!"

"Now," said Chris, "Let's get onto it. You guys sucked today. You lost to friggin' Ezekiel. That blows. But, you know, right now you can unload all your anger onto one team member you hate! The person who doesn't get a marshmallow, blah blah, you guys know the drill. Just go vote."

Soon, Chris had tabulated the votes. "Alright, this is certainly interesting," said Chris gleefully. "First of all. Gwen, Heather, DJ, Tyler-where is Tyler?-Noah, Duncan, Leshawna, Owen, and Harold. You guys are safe for another night on this island.

"Eva, Geoff. You two received the most votes. But one person received more votes than the other." "WHAT?!" screamed Eva. "YOU ALL ARE GONNA PAY FOR THIS BULLSHIT!" "All in due time, Eva," snickered Chris. "The final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

"…Eva!"

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Geoff. "This is not ok! Why would you vote out me and not the rageholic?"

"Because you're acting like a douche!" said Gwen. "Bridgette told me you cheated on her!"

"So what if I did?"

"…WHAT?!"

Chef had to drag Geoff to the Boat of Losers to save him from Gwen's wrath.

"Bye now, party boy!" called Chris. "Well, that's one contestant down, twenty one more to go! Who's going down next? Who's getting hurt next? Find out next time on Total Drama Reloaded!"

Later that night, at midnight, Tyler was still watching over Lindsay in the infirmary. DJ stuck his head into the room. "Hey, bro, come on, we're going to bed." "Yeah, I'm getting tired. I'll be there in one second." DJ left and Tyler began to leave too. Then, he doubled back and kissed Lindsay on the head. "I love you, Linds."

As Tyler walked out, the seemingly unconscious Lindsay's lips turned up into a peaceful smile and she muttered, "I love you too…"


	4. Water Gun Deer Hunter

**FAIR WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A RATHER EXPLICIT SEX SCENE. IF YOU ARE EASILY DISTURBED BY SUCH THINGS, PLEASE STOP READING.**

The next morning, when Tyler awoke, he was the only one left in the cabin, and his first thought went to Lindsay. He still felt absolutely terrible about seriously injuring her during the dodgeball match. Despite the fact that Lindsay claimed she had a boyfriend, Tyler was still very much in love with her. He missed the days back when they used to date. Tyler was completely infatuated with her. He didn't just view her as a sex object, like so many of his friends did. They'd never had sex. With each other, or otherwise. They were determined to stay loyal to each other.

But Tyler's thoughts were interrupted by Trent barging into the cabin. "Tyler, come on, man. Chris is about to announce the challenge!" "Sorry, my bad," said Tyler. "Just thinking about…things." "Well, let's go," said Trent. So Tyler pulled on his clothes and stepped outside. All the campers were gathered outside, with Chef standing next to Chris. "Well, good morning, sleepy face," said Chris. "Is-is Lindsay alright?" "She's awake at least, but has requested one more day in the infirmary. Now, if there are no more stupid questions, let's begin our briefing on the challenges for today. Noah, take out your earbud." "Hmm? What?" "Yeah."

"Now, today's challenges are based off the first season's eighth and sixteenth challenges!" Chris pulled out deer ears and tails in one hand, and a water gun in the other hand. He threw the water gun to Chef, who cackled. "Your first challenge is to hide somewhere around the island and try to make sure Chef doesn't find you! But, it's gonna be more difficult than just hiding. You see, each deer tail has a tracking device implanted in it. Chef will easily be able to hunt you down. If you try to remove the tracking device, it'll set off an electric shock. If you get found by Chef, you're out. If you set off the electric shock, you're out. Once you get 'out', this leads immediately to your second challenge: help Chef hunt down your fellow contestants. The person who is the last one standing wins the challenge for their team! You all will get five minutes to hide first before Chef comes out to find you. Now put on your ears and tails!"

Soon, the campers had put on their deer costumes. "You all look wonderfully ridiculous," laughed Chris. "Speak for yourself," mumbled Bridgette angrily. "Alright," said Chris, "Your five minute head start begins…now!" And the contestants scattered. Chris turned to Chef. "Why not only give them a 3 minute head start just for funzies?" Chef snickered.

Noah wasn't really concerned with hiding, he was more concerned about not spilling his mocha. He climbed up a tree and sat in a branch among the leaves, sipping it. He saw Ezekiel running around below him. Ezekiel saw a small cave nearby and ran into the darkest section of it. Meanwhile, Gwen and Leshawna were both hiding underneath the porch of the girls' cabin. They saw Trent run into the boys' cabin, and Beth climb up the side of the girls' cabin and sit on the roof. Down at the Dock of Shame, Owen and DJ hid inside the Boat of Losers. Katie and Sadie tried to fit both of themselves behind a tree. Duncan climbed a rock wall and chilled on the top of it, so that they were nearly invisible. Izzy…well, god knows where Izzy went off to. Eva was stomping through the wilderness, without even bothering to hide. She was more focused on trying to hunt down her teammates for tying to vote her off. Harold hid inside the confessional, and discovered that the camera wasn't working once again. Heather hid inside the dining hall. Justin hid inside a dumpster behind the dining hall so at least his stench would be disguised. Cody snuck into Chris's trailer and locked himself in. Just as he locked himself in, he heard Chef stomping past.

Suddenly, the door busted open, and before he could do anything, Cody was hit in the face by Chef's water gun. "You're with me, kid," he said before throwing him a mini water gun. "Come on man, you got my nice hoodie wet," said Cody, causing Chef to soak him once again. "Stop bitching." Just then, Chef heard a contestant running past outside, and he gave chase.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel was hiding inside his little cave. He was just relaxing when suddenly, he heard feet pounding past outside, and the sound of a girl's panting. Ezekiel poked his head out and saw… "Bridgette?"

"Oh, hi, Zeke. I'm trying to find a place to hide, do you know anywhere I can hide?" "Well, I mean, there's still room in this cave…" "Zeke, are you trying to hit on me?" "Listen, do you want to lose the challenge or not?" "Fair point," she said, climbing into the cave quickly. Just as she had fit herself into the cave next to Ezekiel, she could hear the pounding of Chef and Cody's feet outside. "Come on, I think I see someone over there!" Just then, the two heard a loud "EEEEEEEEE!" and a loud splash of water.

"Looks like they got Tweedledum and Tweedledumber," snarked Bridgette. She and Ezekiel sat in awkward silence, until she spoke up. "Uh, so. If you don't mind me asking, how did you recover from being a green zombie-looking thing? I mean, you mentioned a serum once, but…" "Funny you should ask," laughed Ezekiel, "After Camp Wawanakwa sank, the government came to investigate. They found the 'Fun Zone' on Boney Island, where I was just chilling, eh. They captured me and did some tests on me. You remember how Lindsay said she was injected with a serum that raised her IQ? Yeah, I was one of the first people they tested it on. Since it was an early formula, there were some unexpected side effects. It restored my health, but it also enhanced my speed and agility in short bursts."

"So, you're like a superhero?" "Kind of, eh." "Sweet."

"Listen, Bridgette. I'm sorry about what I said in season one about the whole "guys are better than girls" thing, and I-" Bridgette put her finger to the homeschooled boy's lips. "Forget about it, I forgave you at Playa Des Losers. I thought your little crush on me was adorable." "It was that obvious?" "Dude, you kept trying to sneak up on me underwater." "Uh, yeah, I guess so, eh. Sorry about that too." "Zeke, you apologize too much. Calm down, I'm not gonna choke you or anything like that. I think you're kinda cute, but I-"

"Awww," interrupted Chef, "How cute. Unfortunately, I have to cut this little date short," he said, before blasting the two of them with water.

Cody was stalking around the main campsite. He checked his tracker, and saw that Gwen and Leshawna's trackers were located under the main porch. He was just about to check it, but suddenly, Beth shouted, "Yodelay hee hoo!" before she jumped off the roof. Cody gave chase, and Leshawna and Gwen sighed. "Whew, that was close," said Gwen. "Yeah, thank goodness for that crazy white girl!" agreed Leshawna. Just then, Gwen looked up and saw Eva pointing a gun in their faces. "Uh, speaking of crazy white girls…"

SPLASH!

"What the hell was that about?!" shouted Leshawna. "YOU TRIED TO VOTE ME OUT, YOU DOUCHENOZZLES!" "Because you're insane!" "So I allied myself with Chef to take down all of you backstabbers! I've got 'em, Cody!" she shouted. "Awesome," said Cody, returning with a soaking wet Beth. "Who's still out there?" Eva checked her tracker. "From my backstabbing team, there's still Owen, DJ, Tyler, Harold, Izzy, Noah, and Duncan. And from your team there's still Courtney, Trent, Heather, and Justin."

"Scratch Owen and DJ off the list," said Chef, returning with the two boys thrown over his shoulders and Ezekiel and Bridgette walking in front of him. "They tried to make a break for it when I found them, but they weren't fast enough," and Chef let out an evil snicker. "Damn it, Chef, I wanted them," complained Eva. She shot the two with her water gun anyways. "I'm headed out to find Tyler, Harold, Izzy, Noah, and Duncan." And with that, she stomped out. As soon as Eva had left, Harold emerged from behind some nearby bushes. "Please, someone shoot me with your water gun! If Eva finds me, she'll tear me limb from limb!" Just then, a gigantic spurt of water came from nowhere and hit Harold, knocking him on the ground. "My pleasure, dweeb," said Duncan, emerging from behind a tree. "Duncan?" said Harold, "What are you doing here?" "Meh, I got bored, so I gave myself up to Chef a while back." Just then, a scream was heard, and Tyler zoomed through the clearing for his life, followed by a rabid Eva. "Come back here, you scrum-buffing waste of flesh!" she shouted.

Meanwhile, Justin was still sitting in his dumpster. He was pretty sure that he'd be able to wait the game out there, but suddenly, the top of the dumpster opened up, and peering in on him was Heather. "Justin!" she said. "What do you want, Heather?" asked Justin. "I want to make an alliance with you!" "Well it's about time someone realized my genius!" said Justin as he climbed out. Heather held her nose as she spoke with him. "Listen," she said, "We can't stay here and talk about our alliance, they might hear us! Come on, let's head to the cabins!" Justin began walking forward before he felt Heather push him. Suddenly, he was directly in the sights of Owen, DJ, Chef, Gwen, Katie and Sadie, Leshawna, Cody, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Harold's water guns.

"Son of a bit-"

Justin was absolutely drenched with water. His foes unloaded on him, leaving him dripping from head to toe. "NOT COOL, HEATHER," he shouted, "YOU SET ME UP!" Meanwhile, Heather was running through the forest, and heard his screams. "Sucker," she chuckled. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duncan appeared in her way and shot her right in her stomach with the water gun. "OW! You stupid delinquent! You got my suit wet." "Yeah, well, live and let live, right, princess? Come on, let's go see if we can find Izzy, Noah, Courtney, and Trent."

The contestants around the main area began to move. Inside the boys' cabin, Trent thought he hadn't been spotted. And he hadn't. That is, until Katie just happened to look down at her tracker and see that Trent was in the area. She looked around, before glancing inside the boy's cabin and seeing the sun sparkling off Trent's horn-rimmed sunglasses. She blasted her water gun through the open window, dousing Trent. "Oh, come on, man, NOT COOL!" he shouted. "You got my suit wet! This is, like, my look!" "Why don't you dial Whine-One-One and call a Waaaahmbulance, Elton John?" mocked Duncan, throwing him a towel and a water gun.

Meanwhile, Noah was still sitting up in the tree, calmly sipping his mocha. Suddenly, he lost grip of it and it fell out of his hands. "No! My mocha! I can't be hipster without it!" He began to climb down the tree, only to be met with Chef Hatchet's water gun against his face. Chef pulled the trigger, blasting him out of the tree and into a nearby bush. "Uh, a little help here?!" said Noah. "I'm wet and I can't get out of this bush!" "I thought you were too cool to get wet," snarked Chef as he walked off.

The only remaining contestants were Izzy and Courtney. The manhunt began for the two of them began. The person who evaded everyone the longest would win the challenge for their team! However, the manhunt came to an anticlimactic end, as just as the hunters from the Ballers' side were closing in on Courtney's location, there was a loud scream and a "BZZT!" noise. Courtney had tried to take the tracker out of her deer tail, apparently forgetting that it delivered a large shock to anyone who tampered with it. She was laying on the ground, fried by the charge and groaning in pain. Gwen almost didn't have the heart to shoot her. Almost.

Just as Chef was arriving with Noah, Chris swooped down on his jetpack and announced the victor. "In a shocking turn of events, it looks like Izzy has won the challenge! Then again, I suppose it's not really that shocking since she's probably used to evading people hunting her down. Anyways, Izzy, you can come out of hiding now!" he shouted and hoped Izzy heard. Just then, Chef Hatchet stepped forward and…unzipped his skin? What the? However, it turns out it's just a disguise! Izzy steps out of the Chef costume! She's been impersonating him this entire time!

"Whew, it was getting stuffy in there!" Everyone was dumbfounded, even Chris. "What the fu-Well done, Izzy! Interesting strategy to say the least! Anyways, Izzy, you've won your team the weekend away on the mainland! A whole weekend for shopping! Eating! Enjoying yourselves, basically!" Team Ballers cheered, and Izzy bowed. "Hey, wait a second," said Noah, "If you were impersonating Chef this whole time, where is Chef?" "Oh, I tied him up and stuck him in his trailer!" "Oh," said Chris. "Remind me to go untie him later. Or not, I don't really care. Heh-heh. Anyways-"

Chris was interrupted by Tyler's screaming as he tore across the field and climbed a tree. Eva was still on the warpath, stomping after him. However, Chris activated her shock collar, knocking her to the ground cold.

"As I was saying. Team Rejects. You guys may have won the challenge last time, but tonight, you ARE rejects thanks…to Courtney! You're headed to elimination tonight!"

That night, at the elimination ceremony, Chris stood with his platter of marshmallows. Chef stood behind him, rubbing his rope burned wrists.

Chris spoke. "Rejects! I hold in my hand ten marshmallows! But there are eleven of you. It is someone among you's last night here at Camp Remanier. Now, you all have voted, and I'll start handing out the marshmallows. The first one goes to Lindsay, since, well, she was injured and didn't do anything wrong in the challenge!" However, the newly recovered Lindsay seemed distracted. "Chris, where's Tyler?" "Uh, why?" "No reason, just wondering." "Lindsay, I thought you had a boyfriend!" "I do!" "All right, fine, he's relaxing in the boy's cabin. Decided not to go along on the trip, forfeited his spot, since he didn't want to spend even more time with Eva. Now, may I PLEASE continue?" "Of course, sorry Chris."

"Ahem. Our next two marshmallows go to Ezekiel and Bridgette! D'aww, you guys are so cute together!" Chris mocked. "Shut up!" Ezekiel and Bridgette said together, then blushed. Chris chucked their marshmallows at them, then continued to rattle off names. "Katie! Sadie! You're both safe! And so are Beth, Cody, Trent Heather, and Justin!"

Courtney was waiting for her name to be called, but then realized his tray was empty. "WHAT?!" she screamed. "YOU IDIOTS VOTED ME OFF?! ME?!"

"Uh, yeah," said Cody. "You WERE kinda the reason we lost the challenge." "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!" "Yeah, not happening. Chef?" Chris snapped his fingers, and Chef (the real one) walked forward, picked up Courtney, walked her down the Dock of Shame, and unceremoniously chucked her into the Boat of Losers. When the boat pulled off, Courtney was still protesting. "You can't do this to me! I'm no longer a CIT, I AM A COUNSELOR!" But her protests did nothing, as soon, the boat vanished from view.

"Gotta say, I definitely saw THAT ONE coming!" said Chris. "But tune in next time for an episode with spills, chills, thrills, and things you WON'T see coming! Right here! On Total Drama Reloaded!

The cameraman turned off the camera. "We're off," he said. "All right, guys, good work today! Lots of nastiness going on! I love nastiness! Now rest up so you'll still have some nastiness to go around!" Chris chuckled. With that, the Rejects headed off towards their cabin. As they passed the Ballers' cabin, they noticed that one light was still on in the cabin in Tyler's room, but they paid no notice and entered their cabin. Within minutes, everyone was asleep. Everyone, that is, except for Lindsay. When she was sure everyone else in the cabin was asleep, she snuck out and tiptoed over to the Ballers' cabin. She knocked on the door to the boys' side. Tyler opened it and seemed shocked to see her. "Hi," she said. "We need to talk. May I come in?" "Sure, come right on in," said a still-shocked Tyler.

The two sat down on Tyler's bed. They began to talk. At first they just chit-chatted, but then began talking seriously. "Linds, I'm so sorry I hurt you with the dodgeball." "It's okay," she said, "You were just trying to win, I get it." "I wasn't even aiming for you though! I completely threw it wrong and hit you by accident! I feel so bad about it and if I could go back in time and stop myself from doing it I would. Linds, I know we've grown apart, and I know that you have a boyfriend, but I have something to admit to you: I would do anything for you. Lindsay, I still love you. I always have."

Lindsay hesitated for a second, then looked at Tyler. "You know what the funny thing is, Tyler? I don't actually have a boyfriend. I've just been saying I do because I've been trying to deny my feelings. But honestly, I feel the exact same way about you."

Tyler sat in shocked silence. Lindsay cleared her throat and said, "Well, I should probably be going, Tyler." She leaned down and kissed him, then began to walk away. Suddenly, Tyler grabbed her and began kissing her madly. He began feeling all over her body. The funny part is, Lindsay didn't even try to resist. For she knew that she wanted what was about to happen probably as much as Tyler did.

The couple continued kissing madly, and as they did, Lindsay began pulling off Tyler's shirt. When his shirt was fully off, she gently pushed him back onto his bed. She then sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off her shirt, revealing her pink bra. She reached back and undid her bra, and threw it onto the pillow next to Tyler's head. Tyler looked up and was shocked to see her enormous tits. He began to feel her body, and grabbed her tits, still amazed at their size. "Holy shit, Linds, how did I never see these?" Lindsay smiled mischievously and began undoing Tyler's pants. When she finally had them off of him, she pulled down his boxers and looked at his bulging dick.

"I'm sorry, Linds, I…" "Oh don't worry, honey," Lindsay winked and finally pulled off her incredibly short shorts. The couple were now completely naked. Without wasting any time, Lindsay got on top of her boyfriend and starting riding him, swaying back and forth. Tyler grabbed her boobs while she swayed back and forth. Lindsay groaned and moaned, and Tyler said, "I love you so much." Lindsay began to ride him harder, and Tyler moved his left hand around to grab her left asscheek. With his right hand on her enormous tit and his left hand on her enormous asscheek, this was the best time Tyler had ever had in his life. Lindsay was moaning incredibly loud while she rode him hard, so loud Tyler was afraid they would wake up everyone else in the next cabin. He was also afraid his bed would fall apart, from how hard it was shaking. "Oh my god, Tyler, I think I'm about to go," said Lindsay, now thrusting even harder. "Yeah, me too," said Tyler, "Me too, baby." Lindsay arched her back, throwing her tits in Tyler's face, and then she came. Tyler released his load as well, the two of them groaning loudly.

She then rolled off Tyler and laid next to him in the bed. The two kissed for a little longer, before Lindsay and Tyler finally fell asleep in each other's arms.


	5. Alliances and Eagles and Zeke, oh my!

It was Monday. Tyler was just waking up. Lindsay was next to him, and she too was just waking up. Both of them were naked. She had spent the weekend with him, and they had spent a lot of time catching up, as well as a lot of time 'catching up'. Tyler thought about the wonderful weekend he had had with Lindsay, then looked over at his beautiful, naked girlfriend, who was lying facedown. Tyler reached over and put his hand on her ass, causing her to yawn and look over at Tyler. "Good morning, honey," she smiled. "Hey, Linds." "This was quite a weekend, huh?" "Yeah," said Tyler. "You know, I think we still have time until the others get back…" said Lindsay. She moved over and she and Tyler began kissing madly again. However, before it could go any further, a boat's horn was heard. "Maybe later," smiled Tyler. He stood up and began putting on his clothes, and Lindsay did the same.

They emerged from the cabin holding hands just as a large boat pulled into Camp Remanier's dock with AC/DC's "Back in Black" blasting. DJ jumped off the boat and onto the dock, Duncan on his shoulders. The former delinquent was holding a new boombox that he had bought on the mainland, which was where AC/DC was blasting from. The gangplank dropped, and Owen was the first out of the boat, strumming along to the song on a guitar he had bought on the mainland. Tyler noticed Owen had gained a significant amount of food, likely from all of the fast food restaurants. Next, Izzy backflipped out, wearing a new red dress. Harold followed. He had had his ugly goatee shaved, and now he was just regular old Harold. However, from the way he glared at Duncan, DJ, and Owen, Tyler guessed that they had shaved it as a prank. Noah followed, with a brand new turtleneck, beanie, and ginormous mocha. "Nice mocha," Lindsay said to Noah as he walked past her. "Oh, I've been drinking this since last night," said Noah, "and I still haven't finished it." Leshawna pushed him out of the way, saying, "Move you skinny slightly dark-skinned boy of indeterminable race!" She and Gwen were both drinking milkshakes as they strutted down the dock.

While the Ballers were arriving, the other members of the Rejects had slowly been waking up and dragging themselves down to the Dock of Shame. Most of them had been woken by Duncan's blasting AC/DC. Ezekiel and Bridgette had been the first to arrive, and had been engaged in conversation for a while. Slowly, Katie, Sadie, Beth, Cody, Trent, Heather, and Justin had arrived. However, Heather had forced Justin to stand down at the end of the dock. Justin was fine with it, as he had gotten used to it.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Hey, this damn thing's actually working after two freakin' episodes. Wonderful. Anyways, those guys on the Ballers think they're so special and wonderful and amazing just because they got a special little trip to the mainland. Someone's gotta break it to them that they're not. It might as well be me. (Maniacal Smile)

Harold: Sooo, yeah. We kinda don't really know where Eva is. She never got on the boat Friday night and we haven't seen her this entire weekend. I know she was mad at us for almost voting her off, but I didn't know she would be so mad as to run away. Whatever, it wouldn't be a huge loss if she died.

Gwen: Wow, this weekend away was amazing! It was so fun shopping and shopping and shopping! I saw so many cute guys, and I think Duncan and Trent started getting jealous. Hey, at least there's something those two have in common.

Duncan: I hate Trent. Guy think's he's-*Cuts to Trent*

Trent:-real freakin' hot shit, but he's not. Only thing we have in common is-*Cuts back to Duncan* Duncan:-that we dated Gwen. That's it.

*Confessional Ends*

"Ballers, welcome back!" Chris proclaimed as he and Chef walked onto the dock. Chef was holding a small box. "You fools look all rested and relaxed and ready for some challenges!" laughed Chef Same for you, Rejects!" "Ha, sike!" laughed Cody. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that and announce your next challenge!" said Chris. Your first challenge to be will be a throwback to the hunting challenge from episode 19! Each team will be assigned a different animal that lives out in the wilderness of Camp Remanier! Your goal is to go out and find that animal! You can work together as a team, in small groups, or individually, but you have to find that critter! The first person/group to find their animal, trap it, and bring it back here, wins the first challenge and an advantage in the next challenge!"

"Which is?" asked Gwen.

"I was going to segue into that, Gwen, be patient! Gosh!" exclaimed Chris.

"Sorry," said Gwen under her breath.

"Ahem. Your second challenge will be to COOK that animal as a throwback to our buffet challenge!" Chris said. Everybody looked at Bridgette and expected her to flip out, since the last time they had an eating challenge, Bridgette freaked because she was a vegetarian. Even Chris seemed to be anticipating the freak out. But Bridgette didn't react.

"Uh, surfer chick, isn't this the part where you freak the fuck out about how cooking animals isn't humane and stuff?" asked Heather meanly. "Hmm?" said Bridgette. "Oh, no. I'm fine with eating meat now - as long as it isn't seafood. I still can't do seafood." "Reasonable enough," shrugged Trent.

Chris, seemingly disappointed about the lack of a freakout, shrugged and grabbed the box sitting on the dock by his feet. "This box," he announced, contains slips of paper, each with a different animal that lives in Remanier woods written on it. Each team should send a representative up to pick one slip of paper from the box for their team!"

Tyler volunteered for the Ballers, and just as Katie and Sadie were about to go up for the Rejects, Heather stepped forward. "No way," she said. "BUT WE WANNA DO IT!" complained Katie and Sadie. "But you see, I'm a lawyer. I can get the pants sued off of you just because I don't like you if I want to." "I'm, uh, pretty sure the legal system doesn't work that way," called Justin from the end of the dock. "Shut up, you dumpster-smelling acne pool!"

*Confessional Begins*

Cody: Ouch, that was so uncalled for it's not even funny.

Duncan: Even though what Heather said was mean, I still find it funny…I mean it IS true…"

*Confessional Ends*

Heather headed up to the box, and just as Tyler was about to pick a slip of paper, Heather shoved him out of the way and dug her hand into the box, pulling out a slip of paper. "Dolphin!" she called, causing Bridgette to gasp and faint. "Naw, I'm just kidding, it's a raccoon." "Good, I'm glad you got the raccoon!" said Duncan. Trent began teasing him. "D'aww, is little Duncey-Wunkey afraid of a widdle rac-" Duncan punched him in the face. "Let's just say that the last time I had to hunt a raccoon, there was, erm, more than met the eye to him."

Tyler dug his hand into the box next. He pulled out a slip of paper and read it aloud. "Eagle." He brought the piece of paper down with a look of disbelief on his face.

*Confessional Begins*

Tyler: EAGLE?! HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CATCH AN EAGLE?!

*Confessional Ends*

"Haw, sucks to suck!" called Harold from the other team, and they started laughing. However, Lindsay appeared worried.

*Confessional Begins*

Lindsay: Eagles are dangerous! This one time, I was walking in the woods, when all of a sudden, this giant eagle came out of freakin' nowhere and started attacking me! It was clawing and pecking all over me, but it looked like it was mostly trying to go for my boobs! I guess it thought they were small animals or something. Anyways, I hope Tyler stays safe, and that the eagle doesn't try to attack his boobs! Wait…"

*Confessional Ends*

Chris grinned, and then pulled an airhorn out of his pocket. "BEGIN!" he called, and blew it. The Rejects began chattering. "How should we split up the groups, eh?" asked Ezekiel. "We are not doing this as a big team," said Cody. "Right, that would be way too many people and it would probably scare the animal away," agreed Trent. "Heather, what do you think abou-" But the tall Asian lawyer was already heading off towards the woods. "While you idiots sit around chattering, I'm gonna find us the animal!" "Alright," said Bridgette, taking charge. "We're gonna split up into groups of two! Ezekiel, you're coming with me! The rest of you, figure it out on your own!" "Uh, ok…" said Ezekiel as she grabbed him by his wrist and dragged him into the woods with her. Everybody else split up. Katie and Sadie (obviously) went together, Beth and Cody ran off, and so did Trent and Lindsay. Leaving Justin. Poor, smelly, ugly Justin. He walked off into the forest by himself.

Meanwhile, the Ballers were also beginning to split up. Gwen and Leshawna ran off as a group. Duncan, DJ, Harold, and Noah ran off in separate directions. Izzy and Owen ran off together towards the other end of the Dock of Shame. Tyler leapt into a tree and swung from that tree to the next like a monkey, shouting, "EXTREME!"

*Confessional Begins*

Noah: Dammit, I thought we were done with Tyler's "extreme" nonsense. Besides, I was extreme before it was cool… *Sips mocha loudly*

Tyler: Hey, old habits die hard, I suppose.

*Confessional Ends*

"So, uh, Izzy, where are we going?" asked Owen as he and Izzy jogged down the Dock of Shame. "To find an egret, obviously, Big O!" said Izzy, jumping into the Boat of Losers. "Uh, Izzy, I think you have it wrong, we're supposed to find an eagle, not an eg-" Izzy pulled him into the boat before he could finish his sentence. Izzy ran to the control panel and started up the boat, driving it like crazy through the water, Owen screaming the whole time. The boat sped off into the distance. "Well, guess we're gonna have to find another boat…" said Chef.

Katie and Sadie were walking in the woods, talking to each other. "Oh my gosh, Katie, your outfit is so…" Sadie began "…on point today!" finished Katie. "Oh my gosh, we were…" said Katie, "…thinking the exact same thing!" finished Sadie. Ezekiel and Bridgette ran past. "That's because you two share the same brain, hosers!" called Ezekiel. Bridgette gave him a strange look. "Was that because they're girls?" "No, it was because they're Katie and Sadie!" "Oh, well I guess that makes sense." "I'm past that sexist stuff, you know that Bridge." "Sorry Zeke, it's just, like a gut reaction…" "That's what she said!" shouted Duncan, who was rushing past.

Meanwhile, Beth and Cody were calmly walking through the forest. "So, Cody," said Beth, "How's Sierra doing?" "Oh, she's doing just fine. She and I are pretty happy together!" "Any…plans for the future?" asked Beth jokingly. "Nah," said Cody, "We're happy just dating for now." "Her hair still purple?" "Nope, now it's blue." "Oh." Duncan ran up to him. "Move it or lose it, nerd!" he cried, then tried to push him to the ground. However, it now took a great amount of effort to do it since he was a lot more musclebound. Duncan sat there pushing and pushing, while Beth watched, trying hard not to giggle, and Cody just stood there looking at him. Finally, Cody got sick of Duncan's shit. "Remember when I beat your ass in Greece and I wasn't even had as big then as I am now? Do you want me to do it again when I'm two times bigger?" Duncan took off in a hurry. Cody and Beth laughed.

Tyler landed on a tree branch, Tarzan style, and saw an eagle flying overhead. "This could be my chance!" he cried. He jumped for it, but it flew out of his grasp. It looked extremely angry that he had tried to grab it. It swooped down and began chasing after him. "CRUD! SNOT!" shouted Tyler as ran through the woods, chased by the eagle.

Heather was running through the woods by herself.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: I've gotta get the money! I will not let Alejandro be the only one of us two to have won a season. *sigh* Alejandro. He's so tall, and buff, and handsome… And he's all mine."

*Confessional Ends*

Heather was too busy thinking about Alejandro to notice where she was going, and she ran straight into a tree. "Ouch," she said. "Stupid tree." All of a sudden, Tyler ran past her, being chased by the eagle still. "Dammit!" she cried. "They've got their animal already! Hmm…" An evil smile spread across Heather's face.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: So what if I play dirty? Hello, I'm a lawyer! Besides, I think it's come to be expected of me by now.

*Confessional Ends*

Heather picked up a large rock. She chucked it right at Tyler and hit him square in the head. Tyler fell to the ground, and a huge welt began to grow on his head. The eagle, seeing its chance, swooped down and grabbed Tyler in its claws. "Nooo! Help!" he cried as he was carried off by the eagle. "Sucker!" laughed Heather. "Impressive," said a nearby voice. She looked over, and there stood Harold.

"Oh great, what do you want, doof-wad?" "Nothing, I just have a thing for strong woman. So naturally, I think that was REALLY hot." Heather looked down and saw Harold's boner poking into his pants. "Wow," she said, "That's larger than I thought it would be." "Uh, thanks, I guess," said the nerd. "Let me guess," said Heather, "You wanna make an alliance with me." "Precisely," said Harold, "With my brains and your ruthless lawyer tricks, we can dominate and eliminate Duncan! Soon, he will pay for shaving my beard!" "Are you forgetting that we're on different teams, Nerdmobile?" "So what? I'll help you get rid of who are threats on your team, you help get rid of any people who are threats on my team!" "All right fine, I accept," sneered Heather. "But don't you dare get all hormone-y around me. I have Alejandro for that. If you do, you'll be gone faster than Ezekiel during the first season!" "Yes ma'am," said Harold with a somewhat dejected sigh.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Why not entertain Nerd Boy for a little. Make sure we get the major threats off the teams. Then, I'll ditch him. Plain as that.

Harold: I came to a realization between seasons. Leshawna's not my type anyway. But Heather? Whoo. Heather will fall for me sooner or later. She's destined for me, and I will prove that to the world and then rub it in her soon to be ex-boyfriend's face. Heather and I will be the greatest couple in the history of Total Drama! Just you wait!

*Confessionl Ends*

Little did Heather and Harold know, Gwen and Leshawna had overheard their little conversation. The two had spotted the same eagle Tyler had earlier and were running after it on the ground, and had witnessed Heather's sabotaging of Tyler and everything following that. The two crawled and hid behind a nearby blueberry bush where they thought they could have a conversation in quiet. "Did you see that?" asked Leshawna "See what? There were so many things to see! Tyler getting chased by the eagle, Heather sabotaging Tyler, Tyler being carted away by said eagle…" Gwen began. "Not that!" Leshawna nearly screamed. "My Harold's betrayed me!" "I thought you only saw that…and I quote… 'skinny, pale, stubby white boy', as a friend." "BUT WE DATED FOR LIKE A WEEK! AND HE WAS MY SKINNY PALE STUBBY WHITE BOY! AND NOW HE'S BETRAYED ME! FOR HEATHER!" "Leshawna, shut up, they're gonna hear us!" "Oooooooooooooh, when I see Harold next I'm gonna-" Gwen grabbed Leshawna and managed to pull her away from the scene before she finished that threat.

Justin was sadly walking through the woods alone. Just then, DJ ran up to him. "Hey man, what's up?" asked DJ. "Shouldn't you be running away because of how bad I smell?" said Justin sarcastically. "Naw man," said Justin, "My frat brothers and I work at a farm every weekend, and compared to the animals there, you smell like a shot of Febreze, man." "Thanks, I guess," said Justin, feeling a little better.

Ezekiel and Bridgette, meanwhile, were racing through the woods. They'd seen a certain raccoon darting through the underbrush time and again and were racing after it. Just then, Ezekiel saw its tale poking out of a bush. "There it is, eh!" he cried, and dived for it. However, the fuzzy little fucker was just a bit too fast for him. "Darn it!" he cried. Bridgette grabbed him by his hoodie and lifted him off the ground. "Get up Zeke, there he goes!" she said, pointing towards the raccoon as he ran towards a large cave. The two ran after him.

Meanwhile, Trent was walking in the woods by himself. He was softly strumming on his guitar when suddenly, Gwen grabbed him and pulled him behind a tree. "Uh, hi Gwen…" said Trent awkwardly. "Listen, don't make this more awkward than it already is," said the formerly goth girl. "Heather and Harold have formed an alliance to get people they think are threats out of here. I was thinking we should do the same, only, to take them down!" "Uh, who else do you have onboard for this?" asked Trent. "Leshawna, and I'll try to talk some other people into this." "Hmm…" pondered Trent. "Hmmm… All right, fine." "Thanks," said Gwen. "We'll come to you when we need to vote someone off."

*Confessional Begins*

Gwen: Pfft, I knew Trent would come around. I know he still likes me. And I guess…*sighs*…I guess I kinda like him too. Aw, shit, did I say that out loud?

Trent: Yeah, I guess I went along because I still kind of like Gwen…SHUT UP!

*Confessional Ends*

The eagle carried Tyler through the air. Tyler was screaming and blubbering like a baby. He would have peed his pants, if he hadn't emptied all the liquid in his manly bits into and on Lindsay the past weekend. The bird carried him to a huge nest it had made in an old tree, and when I say huge, I mean huge enough to hold Dakotazoid huge. The eagle deposited him in the nest and landed next to him. Tyler cringed.

*Confessional Begins*

Tyler: There I was, thinking that that was it. I wasn't really sad that I'd be losing my life, or that I'd never be able to play sports again. I was sad that I'd never be able to bang Lindsay again.

*Confessional Ends*

The eagle continued to advance towards Tyler. Jut then, it was distracted by a noise in the tree. It turned around, and all of a sudden, something large and human-shaped appeared with something in its hand. The thing lunged at the eagle with a feral scream.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel and Bridgette were running towards the cave where the raccoon had run to. Ezekiel couldn't help but notice Bridgette's ass as they ran. It wasn't huge, but it was a fairly good size, and it was cute and tight. Ezekiel was too focused on Bridgette's ass to notice that she had stopped in front of him, and he accidentally plowed her down. The two laid on the ground, panting heavily. "What the hell was that about?" asked Bridgette. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," said Zeke. "I, er, was thinking about something else."

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: So what if I was looking at Bridgette's ass? You know you would do it too if you were in my place, eh. That is, if you're a guy. I mean, unless you're a girl and into that stuff. I'm cool with that too.

*Confessional Ends*

Bridgette stood up and turned around to look at the cave. "Holy hell," she said, "This cave is freaking huge." Ezekiel turned and looked at it too. "How the heck are we supposed to find a raccoon in here, eh?" "Well there's only one way to find it. Let's go into here and look around." They entered the cave.

A few feet into the cave, the raccoon appeared in front of them. "That was easy, eh," said Ezekiel. "All right, Staples," said Bridgette rolling her eyes. She dived for the 'coon but suddenly it dived out of her way. She hit the ground hard. Ezekiel rushed over. "Bridge, are you okay?" "Yeah, fi-" Bridgette couldn't finish her sentence. In front of them stood a mountain of raccoons, on top of each other's soldiers. They looked incredibly pissed. Just then, they started moving around until they had formed a giant raccoon monster. "So this is what Duncan meant…" said Bridgette.

Meanwhile, Chris was sitting in a lawn chair, playing poker with Chef, who sat across from him. "I'll raise," said Chef, before throwing in five chips. As Chris was about to cuss that Chef had out bluffed him, a boat pulled up to the Dock. It was a small, sleek little yacht, and a tall, thin man with a pointy nose and five-o-clock shadow stepped out of it and walked up to Chris. "Hey! Doug!" called Chris. He stood up and shook hands with the man. "Uh, Chris, who's this fool?" asked Chef. "Oh, Chef, I forgot you don't know him. This is Doug Menken. He was my lawyer back when the 'Revenge of the Island' thing played out, and had been my good buddy even before that." "Pleased to meet you," said Doug, shaking Chef's hand. "Why are you here, Doug?" asked Chris. "Well you see Chris, I've received some complaints from PETA about your second challenge…" "Oh good lord," said Chris.

The giant raccoon transformed monster marched towards Bridgette and Ezekiel. They were shocked. The monster slugged Bridgette, sending her into one of the cave's rock walls. Some blood started to trickle from her head, and she fell unconscious. Ezekiel's expression of surprise suddenly turned to fierce anger. He lunged at the raccoon monster. "YOU DO NOT HARM THE WOMAN I LOVE!" he screamed, and utterly destroyed the raccoon monster, ripping the raccoons from one another. Finally, he grabbed one in one hand and scooped up Bridgette in the other arm, and began to race back towards the campground.

As Ezekiel raced through the forest, he heard a screeching noise overhead. A giant eagle was swooping down from the sky, with a dark silhouette riding it. The eagle was carrying…was that Tyler in its claws? And something was around its neck. The damn thing crash landed into the main area, surprising Menken and causing him to jump. Ezekiel raced into the clearing just in time to see Eva step off the giant eagle. She looked extremely pissed, and her eyes were bloodshot from sleep deprivation. Chris screamed like a little girl and hit the button for the shock collar, only for the eagle to start twitching and jolting suddenly. Eva ripped the shock collar from its neck. "Looking for this?" she asked, and threw it into the woods. She charged at Chris, and began pummeling him.

Ezekiel took no notice, and headed over to Chef. "Chef, please get her to the infirmary!" cried Ezekiel. "Not this again," said Chef, rolling his eyes. "Please, eh!" pleaded Ezekiel. "Yeah, sure," said Chef. "WHITE BOY!" he shouted, and the short, fat intern rushed over. "Take this girl to the infirmary," he said, and threw her limp body to the intern. The intern barely caught her, and ran off to the infirmary. Chef then managed to pry Eva off Chris and held her in the air by her ponytail. "TEAM EVA WINS!" he called. The rest of the Ballers rushed out of the woods and cheered. The Rejects slowly trickled out of the woods, dragging their feet.

"REJECTS! Y'ALL SUCK! SEE Y'ALL AT ELIMINATION TONIGHT!" shouted Chef "Wait, what? Don't we have a second challenge?" asked Noah. "Well, Chris has been beat halfway into the ground, one of our contestants is in the infirmary, another one is buried underneath an eagle…" Tyler made a muffled groan from underneath the eagle. "…and even if none of that stuff went down, this fool is telling us we can't cook the animals!" Chef shouted, gesturing towards Doug. "So, no second challenge!"

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: So, this entire ordeal was for nothing? Son of a bi-(static)

Eva: HAH! In your face my so-called teammates! I won this challenge by myself! ME!

*Confessional Ends*

Chris groaned on the ground. "I'm hurting in places I didn't even know I had…" "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SHOCKING ME!" shouted Eva. "Oh my gosh, Tyler," said Lindsay as she ran up. She tried to push the eagle off of her boyfriend, to no avail. Chef kicked the eagle, and it rolled over, revealing a crushed Tyler. "Oh my god," said Lindsay, cradling her hurt boyfriend in her arms. "Extreeeeeeeme," Tyler muttered weakly.

That evening, before elimination, Chris was put on a stretcher and was put onto Doug's yacht. "I'll make sure he gets good treatment," said Doug, "or else he'll sue me." There were literally crickets heard. "It was a joke," said Doug. "Because I'm a lawyer? Huh? Huh?" "Get out of here before I punch you too," said Eva. Doug hurried onto the boat, and it sped away. Chef opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly, a scream was heard. The Boat of Losers zig-zagged through the water and smacked into the Dock of Shame, catapulting Izzy and Owen from it. Owen landed on the ground first, and Izzy landed on top of him. "Wow, who put this pillow here?" she asked. "Gee, thanks for the confidence boost about me losing weight," said Owen. "Alright, Ballers, go to your cabin," said Chef. "See you all tomorrow."

Heather was heading to the campfire circle, when all of a sudden, she spotted Harold walking to his cabin. She raced over to him. "I've had dreams like this," said Harold, getting dreamy-eyed. "Shut up! Let's get somebody from my team out of here!" said Heather. "Yes, m'lady," said Harold. "Who do you want to eliminate?" "Trent! He needs to go!" "Uh, why?" asked Harold. "Because," said Heather, "He's allied with Gwen and Leshawna to eliminate us! I overheard Gwen talking to him earlier, but since Gwen and Leshawna aren't on my team, we need to eliminate Trent!" "Alright," said Harold, "I'll go talk to the others."

The Rejects all went and sat down at the elimination circle. "Wait a minute," said Katie, "So, like, what-" "-about Chris?" finished Sadie. "Chris is gon' be gone for the forseeable future," said Chef. "I'll be yo host for next episode while he recovers and sorts things out wit his lawyer. Now, go vote!"

Lindsay was headed to the confessional to vote, when Harold popped out of the bushes. "Lindsay," he said, "you've gotta vote off Trent!" "Um, I was actually gonna vote off Heather," said Lindsay. "No, we can save that for another time!" said Harold. "We've gotta vote Trent off!" "Uh, why?" "Reasons!" "Oh, that's a good reason! Ok! Trent it is!"

*Confessional Begins*

Lindsay: Gosh, I was gonna vote off Heather but Harold gave me such a good reason to vote off Trent I have no choice!

Katie and Sadie: Oh my gosh, I cannot believe Trent said that about me and Sadie! I'm so glad Harold told us about his true nature! We've got to vote him off!

Ezekiel: Bridgette! No. Gosh, it was all my fault! Harold told me to vote off Trent or else he'd hurt Bridgette! Sorry, eh, Trent, but you've gotta go.

Justin: I like being in here. The stench of the poop balances out my stench! Oh, I don't know who I'm gonna vote off. Probably Trent, since he thought he was gonna be funny by saying I smell good. Hmph.

Heather: Bye Trent!

*Confessional Ends*

Chef held the tray of marshmallows in his hand. "When I call yo name, you gon' get a marshmallow! First off, surfer girl! She ain't here, so I'm just gonna eat her marshmallow for her." Chef popped the marshmallow in his mouth and said the rest of the names through his chews. "Homeschool! Smelly boy! Y'all are safe! So are busty chick, dumb and dumber, and Cody! Government girl! You're safe too!"

It came down to the final two. Trent and Heather. Heather and Trent.

"And the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

"Heatha!"

"WHAT?!" cried Trent. "YES! TURN UP, ELTON JOHN!" cheered Heather. "Wha-how-I-bu-" Trent was at a loss for words. "Sorry, man, but you deserve it for insulting me!" called Justin, secluded from the rest of the group in his tree. "Yeah, and calling-" began Katie. "-me and Katie-well, I can't even say it, it's so mean!" "Yeah, and threatening to hurt my Bridgette, not ok!" said Ezekiel. Everyone looked at Ezekiel. "YOUR Bridgette?" asked Heather sarcastically. "Shut up!"

"You guys, I never said any of that stuff! I-" began Trent. "Oh sure!" interrupted Heather. "Try and deny your actions! Get him out of here, Chef!" So Chef picked Trent up and walked him down the Dock of Shame, as he protested the whole way. "Please! No! Wait! Please! Stop! I can explain!" Chef threw him into the Boat of Losers, which was still crashed into the dock from Izzy's little…er…escapade. He hit the side of the boat twice, and it took off.

"So, that was, uh, another episode, I guess! Tune in next time on Total! Drama! Reloaded! Dang, how does Chris do these signoff things?" Chef muttered to himself, before walking back to his trailer. The campers were left to their own affairs. Some of them went to the cabin. Some headed to the confessional to air some more dirty laundry. Heather went to go find Harold. She found him in the Ballers' hot tub. "Hello my love!" "Don't call me that. Good job tonight, I guess. Keep up the work and soon enough it'll be us two in the finale."

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Sike! I'll be the main threat around here. He's just my pawn.

Harold: I WILL win Heather over. How far I have to go to do that is yet to be seen. But one day, Heather, and this game, will be mine. Mwa-Hahaha! *Begins coughing and wheezing* My evil laugh, is, uh, a work in progress. I might have to take lessons from that purple haired guy.

*Confessional Ends*


	6. The Drama Locker

At 2:30 in the morning, Chef Hatchet, wearing his army outfit, walked in front of the new boy's and girl's cabins. He brought a towel out of his pocket and shined the right side of the boys' cabin. "I take pride in making these look spiffy," he chuckled, before bringing an airhorn out of his pocket and blowing, eliciting loud complaints from the insides of the cabins.

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: I swear to god, I'm gonna beat Chef's ass if he does something like that again. Like this! *Punches the Confession Cam and its lens cracks.* Aw shit.

Eva: It's like Chef wants to get his ass kicked.

*Confesisonal Ends*

The contestants staggered out of their separate cabins, most cupping their hands over their ears. Chef giggled and put the horn down. "ALL RIGHT, MAGGOTS" he screamed. "CHRIS IS GONE, AND SO NOW IT'S TIME TO STEP THE GAME UP A NOTCH! NO MORE PUSSYFOOTING AROUND!" Just then, the short fat intern drove his golf kart in, Bridgette riding in the backseat. "HELLO SURFER GIRL!" shouted Chef. "HOW WAS YOUR INFIRMARY STAY?" "IT WAS FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH CHEF!" "YOU'RE WELCOME, NOW GO STAND OVER THERE." Bridgette did so. "Uh, hi, Bridge…" said Ezekiel nervously. "Hey Zeke," said Bridgette rather awkwardly.

*Confessional Begins*

Bridgette: So before I conked out after having had that weird raccoon monster chuck me into the cave wall, I heard Ezekiel call me the girl he loves. *Sigh* What do I do? What do I do about the fact that I…I kind of feel the same way about him? I always thought he was cute but never allowed myself to think about it since I was Geoff. But obviously now that that's not a thing…Oh, what do I do?

*Confessional Ends*

"YOU TWO ARE CUTE TOGETHER!" Chef continued. "NOW, ONTO YO FIRST CHALLENGE! TODAY'S GONNA BE ARMY THEME! CHRIS AND HIS STUPID LAWYER MENKEN SAID IT WOULD BE TOO HARSH! WELL THAT'S TOO FUCKIN' BAD FOR THEM! TIME FO' CHEF HATCHET'S BOOT CAMP!" "I went through boot camp before it wa-""Shut up Noah," said Gwen.

*Confessional Begins*

Gwen: I can't believe Trent is gone so early on! I mean, me, him, and Leshawna could've had such a strong alliance to take down Heather and Harold! *Sigh* And I was hoping maybe Trent and I can reconcile our relationship…I've got one other option…but it's our last option.

Heather: Hahaha! Oh my god, you should've seen Gwen's face when I told her Trent got voted off! Ohohohohoho! Seriously though, I heard Harold trying to practice his evil laugh this morning. I dunno what the hell he's doing, but I want you to know one thing Harold…*gets real close to the camera*…I'm the villain.

Harold: I WILL make Heather love me. She loves Alejandro just because he's evil, so I've gotta out-evil the true evil! ONE DAY HEATHER WILL BE MINE!

*Confessional Ends*

"NOW!" shouted Chef, "THE NEXT DAY IS GON' BE THE HARDEST! CRUELEST! MEANEST DAY YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN YO ENTIRE LIVES! NOW, IF ANYONE FEELS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT, THERE'S NO SHAME! SIMPLY RAISE YO HAND-" Harold, Beth, Katie, and Sadie's hands shot up. "-AND YOU WILL PROMPTLY BE ESCORTED DOWN THE DOCK OF SHAME, INTO THE BOAT OF LOSERS, AND STRAIGHT TO THE LOSER RESORT!" All of the aforementioned hands went down. "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, MAGGOTS! NOW, TODAY'S CHALLENGES ARE GONNA BE A MIX OF THE RUNNING CHALLENGE FROM EPISODE 2 AND MY BOOT CAMP CHALLENGE FROM EPISODE 11! ARE YOU ALL READY?"

*Confessional Begins*

Tyler: Absolutely-

Cody: Fricking-

Heather: NOT! WHO DOES CHEF THINK HE IS? ANOTHER BOOT CAMP CHALLENGE?! IS HE INSANE?! I swear to god, I am gonna sue the pants off Chef, Chris, his stupid lawyer Menken, this stupid freaking show, and the ENTIRE STUPID FREAKING COUNTRY OF CANADA! God, I'm moving to the U.S. the first damn chance I-

*Confessional Ends*

"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!" shouted Chef. "YOU WILL START, AND FINISH HERE! 2 LAPS AROUND THE ISLAND! NOW GET RUNNING!" and he blew his airhorn. The contestants took off running. When they were all out of sight, Chef shouted, "INTERNS!" The tall, skinny girl intern and the tall, skinny boy intern wearing a yellow hat ran up. "Fetch me my lawn chair, my Jane Austin book, and my Pink Lemonade. I'm feeling classy today."

Heather was cursing Chef under her breath, when suddenly, Harold ran up to her. "Hey m'lady." "What do you want, nerd?" "I was wondering who you wanted to eliminate." "Shut up, we need to see who wins first. If your team wins, then we'll eliminate Leshawna. We've already eliminated Trent, and Leshawna's the one we should be the most scared of." "What about Gwen?" "Pfft, have you seen her? She's been pretty distracted ever since we got Trent out. She's not a threat right now. We'll get her soon enough, but we need to focus on Leshawna right now. Of course, this all depends if your team wins, WHICH THEY WON'T! I'll whip my idiot teammates into shape." "Yes m'lady." "Stop calling me that."

*Confessional Begins*

Harold: Ooh, she's playing hard to get. I like that in a girl *Giggles, then snorts* I've gotta be more evil to get her attention.

*Confessional Ends*

Harold saw Lindsay running nearby, and, remembering her feud with Heather in season one, he pushed her over.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Okay, I know he was just trying to get my attention, but Lindsay's had that coming.

Harold: That was pretty badass, right? Right?

*Confessional Ends*

Ezekiel was running, thinking about his life, when suddenly, Cody ran up next to him. "Hey man." "DAH! Oh, hey Cody." "Calm down man." "Sorry, I was just distracted." "Distracted being a Gary Stu?" "What?" "I was just joking." "What's a Gary Stu, eh?" "Sierra was reading fan fiction online and told me about the term. It means someone who's just perfect in a fictionalized work." "We're in a fictionalized work?" "Yeah, we're in a fanfi-" Duncan ran up alongside and smacked him upside the head. "Shut up with your meta, breaking-the-fourth-wall crap!" "YOU shut up!" retorted Cody. "No, you!" The two started a slap-fight. Beth ran up next to them, rolled her eyes, and ran past them, Ezekiel on her tail. He passed her and ran behind Bridgette, once again observing her cute ass. She turned around to look at him, and they both blushed. He ran ahead of her to avoid a conversation.

Meanwhile, Katie and Sadie were 'running' (walking) at about 5 miles a day. Katie probably could've kept a good pace going, but she was waiting behind for Sadie. DJ was running erratically, jumping and swerving to avoid running over every bunny, raccoon, or ant that stepped in front of him. Noah was walking calmly, listening to Nickelback on his iPod. Eva and Tyler were racing each other ferociously to cross the finish line first, despite the fact that they were on the same team.

It was around mid-afternoon when Tyler was the first to cross the line and make the first lap, with Eva right on his heels, and they were followed shortly by Duncan and Cody, still slap-fighting, Ezekiel (who was running considerably faster due to his increased muscle mass from his serum), Izzy (who was being given a piggyback ride by a panting Owen), and DJ, who dived across the finish line to avoid stepping on a cockroach.

*Confessional Begins*

DJ: Okay, so I wouldn't have killed it if I stepped on it. But I gotta take precautions, man!

Owen: Man, DJ cares so much about animals! He's so nice. Mmmm. Animals. Cows are animals. Cows can be made into hamburgers. Hamburgers are food. Mmmmm, food. No, snap out of it, Owen! You're in shape, dammit! *Slaps himself*

Lindsay: Aw man, my outfit's all dirty and stuff! AWWWWWWWWWWWW!

*Confessional Ends*

After DJ made the first lap, he went and stood by Chef. "DJ, what are you doing, man?" said Chef. "Get going, you have another lap!" "Naw, man," he said, as Gwen, Leshawna, and Bridgette ran past, chatting casually. "Why not?" said Chef. "I gotta wait for my bro!" he exclaimed. "Come on, Justin!" he shouted as the smelly boy ran into sight. "You can do this man!"

*Confessional Begins*

Chef: SMELLY BOY has friends?!

*Confessional Ends*

Justin made his first lap. "Thanks for waiting for me, man," said Justin. "No problem," said DJ, and they ran off to start their second lap. Harold slowly dragged his body across the line for his first lap and collapsed on the ground. "Get up, nerdy boy, you got another lap to go!" "I-I can't!" said Harold, coughing. "Aw no," said Chef, picking him up by his shirt, "YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE!" Harold threw up on Chef then and there. "Uh, well then," said Chef. "Uh, why don't you take the challenge off, nerdy boy?

Harold was carried off on a stretcher as Heather raced across the line and rolled her eyes.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: If he's trying to impress me it ain't working.

*Confessional Ends*

The interns carried the stretcher to the infirmary, and passed Katie and Sadie along the way. "Why is everybody getting hurt this season?" asked Katie. "I dunno," said Sadie, "Maybe it's because the author-" "ALL RIGHT, NO MORE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" screamed Chef as they finally crossed the line.

Chef sat back down in his easy chair, sipping his pink lemonade. He felt his eyes getting heavy, and he fell asleep.

In his dream, he saw Vietnam. Bomb exploded in the distance. Bullets whizzed over his head. Chef looked over to the soldier next to him and saw…Nerdy kid? What the hell? "GAWSH!" he shouted. "GET YER HEAD IN THE GAME, MAGGOT!" Chef looked over the trench he and Harold were behind and saw…was that Chris and his lawyer Menken firing at them? What the… Just then, Chef heard his fellow soldiers talking to him. "Chef! Cheeeeefffff…WAKE UP!" Chef awoke and screamed. He saw the contestants standing over him. Tyler was screaming at him.

"WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAD TO WAKE ME UP FROM MAH NAP?!" shouted Chef. "Uh, we're all finished with the challenge. Even Katie and Sadie." "HEY!" "Uh, okay," said Chef. "Who crossed the finish line first?" "Uh," said Tyler, "I di-" Heather pushed him out of the way. "I did! I crossed the finish line first!" Gwen and Leshawna spoke up from within the crowd. "OH, HAAAAYYYYYLLL NAW!" shouted Leshawna. "Yeah, Heather didn't win, it was definitely Tyler!" "Shut up, model wannabe," sneered Heather.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: I like how Gwen always spoke about how manufactured and fake models are, and now she is one. Shows how manufactured and fake SHE is.

Gwen: Man, Heather just HAD to bring up I'm a model. I hate being a model. I feel so fake, but my agent made me do it. No money is worth this. When I get home, I'm gonna quit the modeling business and go back to being who I am.

Leshawna: I swear, if that Asian lawyer bitch says one more word about my homegirl, or does one more cheating thing, man, it's not gon' be pretty.

*Confessional Ends*

"Alright, whatever!" said Chef. "I'll just say skinny Asian girl wins!" Heather cheered. "All right, high-five, guys?" she said, fishing for high-fives from her team. Everyone, even the people on her team glared at her.

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: Man, even though this means we win the challenge, Tyler deserves the victory.

Owen: That was so unfair to Tyler. I know, I'll bring him to Burger King to cheer him up - NO! YOU'RE FIT! SNAP OUT OF IT OWEN!

Tyler: Wooww, that was really low, even for Heather.

Izzy: I wonder if Big O will take me to Burger King later. Wait, is that what she said?

*Confessional Ends*

"All right then," said Heather, putting her hand down. "So, what advantage do we get for the next challenge?" asked Heather. "ADVANTAGE?!" said Chef. "YOU DON'T GET NO ADVANTAGE! I TOLD YOU I'M GONNA TORTURE YOU TODAY, SO NO ADVANTAGE!" "So that first challenge was useless," deadpanned Duncan. "EXACTLY!" shouted Chef in his face. "Okay, lieutenant Hatcher," muttered Duncan. "THAT'S GENERAL HATCHET, PRIVATE," screamed Chef, somehow even louder.

"NOW!" shouted Chef. "ONTO THE SECOND CHALLENGE! THE BOOT CAMP!" "Oh, freakin' wonderful," said Gwen sarcastically, "This was just so fun in season one." "INDEED IT WAS, MODEL GIRL! NOW, GET IN AN ORDERLY LINE BY TEAM, GRUNTS!" The contestants groaned, but did as they were told, mostly. Gwen stood defiantly with her arms crossed. "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!" shouted Chef. "FORMERLY GOTH GIRL, LINE UP!" "No way," said Gwen, "I'm tired of being pushed around and insulted by you, by Chris, and by Miss Alejandro over there!" "Hey, why don't you cry about it, Gwen?" retorted Heather.

"So, soldier," said Chef, "If you're not following my orders, does that mean-" "Yes, I QUIT!" said Gwen. "I'll be in my cabin. Call for me when it's time for the elimination ceremony."

*Confessional Begins*

Gwen: Like I said, no money is worth this. Good thing I didn't throw out my hair dye. I think I might've even brought along some emergency dye, just in case.

Leshawna: WHAT?!

Heather: Hmmmm, interesting…

*Confessional Ends*

"Wait!" called Leshawna. "Girl, you can't do this! You can't leave me here alone!" "Sorry, Leshawna, but I had to to maintain my sanity!" "Wait, no!" Leshawna began to chase after her friend, but Chef held out his arm. "BACK IN AN ORDERLY LINE, MAGGOT!" he screamed. Leshawna sadly got back into line. "Now! Team Ballers! Y'all are down one maggot! Good! One less to annoy me! But now, children, we gon' begin Master Chief Hatchet's Boot Camp! Now, march down to the Dock of Shame in yo' orderly lines!"

The contestants did as they were told and marched.

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: I wasn't around for this in Season One, but something tells me I'm not gonna enjoy it, eh.

Harold: Heh heh heh, I've retained some of my acting skills from Total Drama Action! I knew this was going to be an extremely difficult challenge, so I faked my tiredness! Except for the throwing up, that was real.

Izzy: Oooh, I've always been running for the military, but I've always wanted to join up! Soon, I shall become GENERAL IZZY! MWAHAHAHA!

*Confessional Ends*

When the contestants reached the Dock of Shame, Chef paced in front of them. "Now," he said, "Y'all might remember that in season one, I had you carry canoes and make sure they don't touch the ground! This season, we doin' that again! But this time, we gon' have a twist to it!" Chef reached down and grabbed two canoes floating near the dock, lifting them up to show the contestants. "See these? These are the exact same canoes! You're gonna lift 'em above yo heads, and I'm gonna be lying across the both of them!" This caused a loud groan from both of the teams. "You're gonna walk me across the bay all the way to that little island out there!" Chef continued, gesturing to a small piece of land about 400 feet out. "And if I even touch water, the team who let me do it will head straight to elimination!"

*Confessional Begins*

Bridgette: Oh, come on, man! This is so unfair!

Owen: If he even TOUCHES water? Cool! Chef always thinks up the coolest challenges, man!

Eva: Hmph. Finally, an actual CHALLENGE.

Gwen: Something tells me that it's a good thing I quit this challenge, since I've been hearing lots of groans.

Leshawna: Man, Gwen had the right idea.

*Confessional Ends*

"Wait," said Beth, "How do we breath?" "Easy," said Chef. "Y'all ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean?" All of the contestants nodded their heads. "Y'all know that scene in the first movie where they carry the canoe over their heads and make an air bubble? Well, there you go! Not too difficult!"

*Confessional Begins*

Beth: Not too difficult?! I wonder if I could convince my superiors to let me arrest Chef.

*Confessional Ends*

The contestants reluctantly got in the water and lined up again in their teams. When everyone was lined up, Chef tossed their canoes at them. The canoe landed on Bridgette particularly hard and she groaned. "You okay, eh?" asked Ezekiel. "Yeah," said Bridgette awkwardly, "I'm fine, thanks Zeke." Over at the other team, the Ballers were talking. "I just realized something," said Duncan, "How are we gonna see?" "Pfft," said Eva, who was holding the canoe up merely with her freakin' head, and had her arms crossed, "Seeing is for wusses."

Just then, the contestants felt a heavy jolt, as Chef Hatchet lept onto their canoes and lay sideways on them. They could barely hear him shout, "START WALKING, MAGGOTS!" The contestants began to haul their canoes, heaving with the effort. As the Rejects walked, Lindsay realized something. "Hey, I don't smell Justin anymore!" "I know," he replied, "It's because the scent of the saltwater cancels out my stench." "Not bad, smelly man," said Beth.

Meanwhile, the Ballers were heaving and hauling away. "Stupid Harold and his stupid excuses and his stupid weakness," muttered Duncan. "Like he would've helped us out," joked DJ, "He's a freakin' twig." "I don't know what you guys are complaining about. This is easy," said Eva. "Yeah, maybe for you, exercise-aholic," joked Leshawna. "OH, YOU WANNA FIGHT?!" said Eva. She began to move towards Leshawna, and their canoe began to shake. "Hold on, Eva," said DJ, "Beat her up after we win this challenge." "Or, don't beat me up at all since I was joking," muttered Leshawna. "Hey guys, maybe we shouldn't talk to much so we don't use up our precious air supply," suggested Tyler. The others silently agreed, and they continued to walk silently.

On top of the canoes, Chef was sunbathing, still sipping his pink lemonade and reading Jane Austin. "Hmm, 'Sense and Sensability' is such a revolutionary story." Just then, the Rejects' canoe began to wobble. "DO I FEEL WOBBLING, MAGGOTS?!" he called. Meanwhile, down in the Rejects' little air bubble, Lindsay was having a hard time keeping the canoe up. "Lindsay," said Cody, "Come on, you can do this!" "I'm trying!" said Lindsay, "But my boobs are dragging me down, and making it hard for me to do this!" "That's what she said," snickered Cody under his breath. "Shut the hell up, both of you, and quit bitching," said Heather. "Oh, what, Heather?" challenged Beth. "It's like you're trying to make us lose!"

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: For the record, I am NOT pulling a Scott, but if we do lose, I know exactly who's going first, LINDSAY.

*Confessional Ends*

"Ladies, please," said Noah, "You're both pretty." Heather saw some brown, uh, liquid floating past her. "Ew, what is that?!" she exclaimed. "Oh, that's just some of my mocha, that dripped out before I put a cap on it. Man, caps are too mainstream, unless you're talking about beanies, in which case-"

Noah shut up when they finally arrived at the island. It was now getting dark, but Chef called, "About time, privates! Now, time to turn around and go back! Let's go!" Chef smacked the sides of the canoes, and he heard loud moans from inside them, but they slowly began to move forward.

Over at the Ballers, they were proceeding calmly, nobody speaking. "So," said Duncan, "You guys wanna sing a song?" "Absolutely not. You wanna suffocate to death?" said Eva. Duncan was about to open his mouth to respond, when suddenly, there was a loud scream and a splash, and the weight on top of their canoe suddenly was relieved. "DAMMIT ALL!" called Chef. All of the Ballers breathed a huge sigh of relief and tossed their canoe of their shoulders, treading water at the surface of the lake. Chef was floating nearby, glaring at the Rejects, whose canoe was floating upside down in the lake. "Well then," said an incredibly angry Chef, "I'll see you Rejects at elimination. The Ballers win, because you morons DROPPED ME IN THE LAKE!" he screamed suddenly. "Hey, that was all on Lindsay," said Heather, "Her boobs weighed her down." All her teammates glared at her, except for Bridgette, Beth, and Ezekiel. "Uh, sorry?" said Lindsay.

Later that evening, the Ballers, including a now-'recovered' Harold, took a well-deserved hot tub.

*Confessional Begins*

Harold: Alright, so me and my beloved talked about who to eliminate tonight, and even though she doesn't pose that big of a threat, she made them lose the challenge, so, I guess she's going. Her and Gwen.

Heather: Two of my most hated people eliminated tonight! This couldn't be more perfect!

*Confessional Ends*

Meanwhile, the Rejects were at their elimination ceremony. Chef, now in his, erm, Chef outfit, stood near the campfire with his marshmallows. "Y'ALL KNOW THE DRILL, ALTHOUGH I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO'S GOING TONIGHT!" Chef screamed. Chef pulled out the voting bulletins. "THE PERSON WHO'S GOING TO BE ELIMINATED TONIGHT IS-" he shouted. To everyone's surprise, Ezekiel stood up and opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly, a familiar arrogant voice bellowed out, "Oh no you don't Chef!" With that, Chris swooped down in his jetpack.

"DAMMIT CHRIS. CAN'T I BOOT ONE KID OFF THIS ISLAND?!" "Nope, that's my job! Hey, what's Gwen doing in the Boat of Losers?" "She quit." "SHE CAN'T DO THAT!" "What?!" called Gwen. "I can't hear you over my doing that!" "Fine, her loss," muttered Chris. "Hey, didn't I, like break every bone in your body?" said Eva, walking up to him. "Indeed you did, Eva," said Chris. "Which is why you're under arrest!" Two extremely buff policemen stepped from seemingly out of nowhere and grabbed Eva. "Hey, what the-" "Eva Mendoza," said one of the police officers, "You're under arrest for assault and battery." "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" screamed Eva as she struggled, but the officers restrained her. They led her to a police boat floating next to the Dock of Shame, with her protesting all the way.

The Rejects sat, staring in stunned silence. Chris took advantage of the situation to grab the elimination papers out of Chef's hands and throw them into the fire. "What was that?!" cried Heather. "Lindsay was about to get eliminated!" "Yeah," said Chris, "But two eliminations per episode is my limit! Otherwise, we'll be merging the teams, like, next episode, and I still have so much more torture for you teams!" Chris sniggered evilly. "So you're saying that if Gwen didn't quit, Lindsay still would've been eliminated?" asked Heather. "You got it," said Chris.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Even in elimination, she still hounds me!"

*Confessional Ends*

Leshawna stood down by the Dock of Shame, and gave Gwen a big hug. "I'll see ya soon, girlfriend. Guess I'll have to take Heather down by myself." "Thanks Leshawna," said Gwen, and with that, the Boat of Losers pulled away.

With Chef mumbling curses under his breath behind him, Chris turned to the camera. "2 campers have fallen to Chef's boot camp, except not really! Lindsay spared by Eva's arrest! Heather stewing in anger! Ezekiel standing up during elimination to do…something! Tune in for more drama like this in the next episode of Total! Drama! Reloaded!"

With that, the campers broke. The extremely tired rejects stumbled back to their cabin, and most fell asleep before they even hit their pillows. Lindsay was the only one who stayed awake, thinking about how lucky she was, and even then, she soon fell asleep.

At about midnight, Ezekiel awoke. He thought about his life. He thought about Total Drama. He thought about Bridgette. He sat up, got out of his bunk, pulled on his hat and sweatshirt, and crept outside. He just needed some fresh air, and to think. To his surprise, in the moonlight, he saw Bridgette sitting on the edge of the Dock of Shame, her feet dangling in the water. Ezekiel decided he had to talk to her. He walked down the dock to where she was sitting, and sat down next to her.

"Hey." "Hey, eh." "Pretty night, huh?" "Yah, wonderful. The moonlight makes it look absolutely beautiful."

"Listen, we need to talk, eh." "I know. We've been tip-toeing around our, well, our feelings for each other. But first of all, what the hell was that tonight?" "What, when I stood up at the elimination ceremony?" "Yeah, what was that about?" "I was going to volunteer for Lindsay. It wasn't her fault Heather is a complete bi-" "Wait, you were going to volunteer to be eliminated in Lindsay's place?" questioned Bridgette. "Yah," said Ezekiel.

"Wow," said Bridgette. She was genuinely surprised. "Wow, that was - God, I'm gonna sound cliche here - that was really noble of you." "It was what's right. So, listen, Bridge, I-"

Bridgette leaned over and kissed him. They engaged in a passionate lip-lock for about ten seconds, before Bridgette pulled away. "I think that should tell you my feelings about you," smiled Bridgette sweetly. Ezekiel smiled back. And that was that. He had won over the girl of his dreams. They turned back and watched the stars. Bridgette slid her hand into Ezekiel's, and put her head on his shoulder. Ezekiel and his new girlfriend, Bridgette, sat on the edge of the Dock and watched the night sky for what seemed like eternity. And that was just fine.


	7. That's Even More off the Chain!

It was 7:00 in the morning, on a Tuesday. The contestants were casually eating their breakfast (something that looked kind of like yellow oatmeal), and chatting. They were supposed to be at tables designated by their teams, but no one really followed that rule. DJ was chatting about music with Justin, and Harold and Heather were discussing strategy at the end of the table, away from the others (or at least they were trying, since Harold was just hitting on her). Noah was sipping a mocha (where does he get all those damn things) and listening to music, Leshawna and Beth were chatting, Katie and Sadie were talking about boys, Cody and Duncan were glaring at each other, sometimes flicking food at each other, Meanwhile, over at the table that had been designated the "Couples Table", Owen and Izzy were making out, and so were Lindsay and Tyler. Meanwhile, Bridgette and Ezekiel were simply staring into each others' eyes.

However, the contestants' calm, leisurely morning was disturbed by a certain host. "Goooooooooood morning, victims!" Chris McLean walked into the mess hall, trailed by Chef Hatchet. "Now, I know it's been about a week and a half since our last challenge!"

*Confessional Begins*

Cody: Yeah, because it's taken Chris a week and a half to heal from getting his ass kicked by Eva!

Bridgette: Hey, man, it's okay that it's been a week and a half since the last challenge, since Ezekiel and I have gotten some quality time to just…be together.

Justin: Man, that last water challenge was the best thing that could've happened to me. The water washed most of my stank away, so now I'm able to be in the same building as anyone else! I've still got it! Except not….

*Confessional Ends*

"But that is all changing today!" He announced. "Damn," muttered Cody under his breath. "Shut up, nerd," said Duncan, and he shoved Cody's head into his I Can't Believe It's Not Oatmeal, causing him to flail his arms. "Today, we're going back into the game, baby! Meet at the campfire circle in five minutes."

*Confessional Begins*

Lindsay: Well, that kind of ruined me and Tyler's mood. We were right in the middle of making out too. Mph.

*Confessional Ends*

Sure enough, in five minutes, the contestants were seated at the campfire circle. This time, Chris was gone! "So, Chris told us to meet here, and yet he's not here yet? How professional," said Noah, rolling his eyes. Just then, there was a loud screeching noise, and Chris raced into the circle on an awesome, tricked-out bike. "You called?" he said, winking. "Whoa," said Duncan. "Is this-" "Yes it is," said Chris, "Half of today's one big challenge is going to be a throwback to the bike racing challenge from season one!" Ezekiel sighed. "Sounds like you guys had so much fun in season one with all these cool challenges." "No, that challenge was definitely not fun," said Lindsay. "Oh yeah," said Heather nastily, "That was the episode where YOU got voted off!"

"ANYWAY," said Chris, "The second half of today's challenge is the scavenger hunt challenge from episode 15! Each one of you has a mini treasure chest hidden somewhere around the Island. The chests contain fabulous prizes, and you will be able to open them when the challenge is through. Each chest is color-coded to its specific owner! The first team to have every member cross the finish line, on their bike, with their treasure chest, wins the challenge! In addition, the first team member from the losing team to cross the finish line will win immunity from elimination!"

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: Oh, this is gonna be fun! *Punches his fist*

Lindsay: Oh, this is not gonna be fun.

*Confessional Ends*

Beth raised her hand. "Uh, Chris? Question. How do we know which chest is ours?" "Good question Beth, you get a cookie!" "I feel like Sierra's said that's a reference to some fan fiction…" said Cody. "All right," said Chris, "Enough chit-chat." "Is it chit chat?" asked Katie. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's chitter-chatter," agreed Sadie. "ENOUGH!" bellowed Chris. "IN ANSWER TO BETH'S QUESTION, each of you will be assigned a color. Each color will be used twice, for the different teams. For example, Beth and Duncan could potentially Both get green." Beth smiled at Duncan, who rolled his eyes. "How will we tell what chest is for which team, eh?" asked Ezekiel. "If a chest belongs to the Ballers, it will have a picture of a ball stamped on it! If it's a chest belonging to the Rejects, it won't have any picture on it! Now, any other stupid questions?" "Uh yeah, do we have to build our bikes again this season?" asked Leshawna. "Because if we do, I'm bout to march my fabulous booty down the Dock of Shame and straight to Playa Des Losers!" "As much as I'm sure Heather would love that," said Chris, looking pointedly in the Asian lawyer's direction, "That's not going to be the case this season. Your bikes are pre-built and are waiting for you at the starting line. Each bike is the same color as the chests you have been assigned, and you will know which bike is yours because it will have a slip of paper with your name on it taped to it if it is indeed yours. Head to the top of the 1000-foot cliff, since that's where your starting line is!" The contestants moaned and groaned, and Chris chuckled evilly.

It was 11:00 when the contestants began their long trudge up to the cliff, and when they finally arrived, it was 11:47. Of course, Chris had been there for a long time, having flown up in his jetpack, and he was currently reclining in a beach chair, with Chef right next to him. "And then I told him, 'no, it was your sister'!" said Chef, just finishing up a joke. Chris burst into laughter. "Oh, man, that's so funny! I can just imagine the look on his face!" "Yeah, man, I couldn't do it justice by describing it!" said Chef, also laughing. "You had to see it to believe it." Just then, Chris noticed that the contestants had arrived. "Ah, there you guys are! Finally! Wait, not everyone's here! Where's Owen?"

Just then, Izzy appeared, dragging a panting Owen by the leg. "He passed out about 2/3rds of the way up," she said. "Hey," said DJ, "At least it's better than Season One. He wouldn't have made it a 14th of the way up before passing out." "True that," said Chris. "Now, time to find your bikes! Chop-chop!"

The contestants looked at each bike, to see if they had their names on them. Eventually, the situation was sorted. For the Rejects, Lindsay had a pink bike, Ezekiel had a dark green one, Bridgette had a light blue one, Katie had a yellow one, Sadie had an orange one, Beth had a gray one, Cody had a red one, Heather had a dark blue one, and Justin had a brown one. Meanwhile, on the Ballers' side, Owen had the pink one (which he would not stop cheering about), DJ had the brown one, Harold had the yellow one, Izzy had the dark green one, Noah had the light blue one, Leshawna had the orange one, and Duncan had the gray one.

"Yeah-heah-heah, I can work with this," chuckled Duncan, inspecting his bike. "But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna need some music." Duncan pulled a mini-speaker he had been saving for this occasion from his pocket and attached it to the front of his bike. He took its cord and attached it to his myPhone, and went to his playlist. Suddenly, AC/DC's 'Highway to Hell' began blaring from the speaker. Duncan head-banged for a couple seconds, strumming on an air guitar and mouthing the lyrics, before Chris grabbed the speaker and chucked it off the cliff, into the lake. "Enough, Angus!" shouted Chris.

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: First of all, Angus isn't AC/DC's singer, Brian Johnson is. Second of all, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!

Harold: What is it with Duncan and AC/DC anyways? I mean, they're not even that great of a band, they just write the same song over and-*Suddenly, Duncan's hand breaks through the confessional's wall and grabs Harold by the throat.* I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

*Confessional Ends*

"Right now, I'm giving instructions," continued Chris, "You can play AC/DC later." "Not really," said Duncan, "Especially since you just tossed MY SPEAKER OVER THE CLIFF!" "Heh heh heh," laughed Chris. "Uhp, and I guess I actually don't have any more instructions. It was totally pointless to chuck your speaker off the cliff. Sorry not sorry Duncan. Heh heh."

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: God damn it, this is the last straw. If I may co-opt Samuel L. Jackson's quote from Snakes on a Plane, I have had it with these motherfuckin' hosts on this motherfuckin' show. Someone's gotta do something about them. Might as well be me. Not yet, oh no. But soon. Soon Chris will regret the day he fucked with Duncan Blake. Sheesh, I'm starting to sound like Alejandro.

*Confessional Ends*

"Well we do need some riding music," said Tyler. "If I may, I think I have an even better song than AC/DC." "Pfft, not likely," said Duncan. Tyler pulled out HIS myPhone, and turned the volume up all the way. "Sure it's not as good as Duncan's speaker, but it works." Tyler hit "play", and Sammy Hagar's "I Can't Drive 55" blared out. "Awww, sheeit!" said Leshawna, "This song is my jam! Me and my daddy-o used to rock out to this in the car when I was a kid." "Well then, this is the perfect song," said Tyler, smiling. He and Leshawna fist-bumped, and then Chris shouted, "BEGIN!" and blew his airhorn. The contestants sped down the hill.

Noah nonchalantly rode his bike with no hands. One hand changing the music on his myPod, the other holding ANOTHER MOCHA. Duncan rode up behind him, and swerved into him, knocking him off the road and into some trees, eliciting a "NOT COOL!" Noah hit his head on something hard when he landed, and rubbed it. He frowned and looked at his cracked myPod, and turned around to see what he had hit his head on. It was a gray chest with the Ballers' symbol on it. Noah chuckled. He grabbed a rock from the ground and rubbed it on the symbol until it had faded and blended in with the gray paint. Noah grinned and dropped the chest on the ground, kicking some dirt onto it.

*Confessional Begins*

Noah: That'll show you to knock me off the road. I played nasty before it was cool. Heh-heh-heh.

*Confessional Ends*

Tyler and Leshawna were jamming out to Sammy Hagar. Tyler was so distracted by the song that he slammed into a tree. Suddenly, a chest fell out of one of the notches in the tree. It bonked Tyler on the head and knocked him out. Leshawna grabbed the chest. It was brown with the Ballers' symbol on it. Leshawna thought for a second, then put it in her pocket.

*Confessional Begins*

Leshawna: At first, I wasn't sure what to do with it, but then I remembered that it's DJ's, and he's my bro. I can't not help him. Besides, he's on my team. I'm pretty sure Heather doesn't know I'm onto her and Harold. I need to gather allies to vote her and him off. I'm sure DJ would be useful.

*Confessional Ends*

Just then, the paramedics arrived to their location. "You white boys is fast," said Leshawna. "We're used to taking care of Tyler," said a paramedic as they put Tyler on the stretcher and hauled him away. Leshawna rolled her eyes and rode off.

Meanwhile, Heather was riding along. After about five minutes, she came to a sudden halt in front of a opening in the trees. Looking around, she ducked into the forest and soon came to a clearing. A figure stood underneath a tree, shrouded in shadow by the branches and leaves above him. His bicycle was leaning against the tree. "Well, took you long enough," the figure said to Heather. "Well I'm sorry you're apparently the Flash," Heather sneered. "Listen, I can't talk to you here for too long," said the figure, "Or else the others on my team will get suspicious. Why did you want to meet with me here, I thought you and Harold were already in an alliance." "It's that obvious huh? Nevermind. I want to make an alliance with you. You're a strong player. Harold? He's weak. He's got to go soon. You? We could go far together." "You want an alliance with me?" "Yes." "Hmm, interesting proposal, Lawyer Girl. Fine, I'll accept - for now. But the second I get even the inkling of a thought that you're trying to double-cross me, we're done, alright?" "Absolutely." "How do we begin?" "Well obviously, we eliminate a potential threat at tonight's elimination." The figure thought for a second, then said, "I'll consider it." With that, the figure got on his bike. "Uhp-uhp-uhp," said Heather, "You have something of mine." The figure chuckled quietly and tossed Heather a dark blue chest with no symbol on it, and rode off. An evil grin spread across Heather's face and she stuffed the chest in her pocket. She turned and rode off.

*Confessional Begins*

Heather: Peace of cake. I'll use my 'friend' for a while, as well as Harold at the same time. I'll play both of them against each other. Yep, they know what they're getting into, neither Harold or-*Battery Dies*

*Confessional Ends*

Ezekiel and Bridgette were riding side-by-side. "You're way cuter than I am," said Bridgette. "No, you are, Bridge," said Ezekiel. "Oh come on Zeke, you've got such a cute little soul patch." "Yeah, well you've got such a cute little ass." Bridgette gave Ezekiel a funny look and blushed. "Erm, did I say that out loud?" he said, embarrassed. Just then, distracted, he missed a turn up ahead and hit something, flipping in the air and nearly falling off the cliff. His bike scattered down the cliff face in front of him. "Aw, shit, eh," said Ezekiel, grabbing onto a root poking out of the ground before he could fall off. "Holy god," said Bridgette, stopping her bike. She ran up to where Ezekiel was holding on. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up. She only managed to get him a little ways up the cliff, when Ezekiel sighed. "Bridge, let me go, eh," he said. "No way, I won't let you fall off this cliff." "No, I mean seriously, let me go. I can get up without you, I think." Bridgette did, reluctantly, and Ezekiel stepped on something and managed to pull himself up.

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: Whoo, that was difficult, eh. I think the serum's side effects are starting to wear off. I won't be augmented anymore soon, and I'll just be little ol' me. Maybe that's a good thing, since, like Cody said, I was kind of being a….what did he call it? Gary Sue?

*Confessional Ends*

Ezekiel sat on the ground, shocked and out of breath, and Bridgette gave him a big hug. "Don't ever do that to me again," she said, panting and scared. Ezekiel held her hand. "Don't worry," he said, "I won't. Hey, what did I hit, even?" Ezekiel looked over and saw… "Your treasure chest!" he said, handing it to Bridgette. "You almost killed me!" he teased. "Shut up," laughed Bridgette, and she punched him in the shoulder. "Come on, let's go find yours," putting her treasure chest in her hoodie pocket. "Hurry up, lovebirds!" Beth teased as she rode past. "We're not gonna lose!" Ezekiel and Bridgette smiled. "You know, I don't have a bike anymore…" "That's fine," said Bridgette, "You can use mine. I'll just ride on the back, like a motorcycle." "You're always looking out for me, Bridge," and Ezekiel gave Bridgette a kiss. With that, the couple hopped onto the bike, Ezekiel on the front and Bridgette riding behind him, her hands wrapped around his waist, and they rode off.

Owen was riding his bike extremely quickly, laughing loudly. "THIS IS SO MUCH FUUU-" Just then, the ground in front of him exploded, throwing him in the air. He landed hard on the ground. "Is-is that you, Explosivo?" he moaned. "Not this time Big O!" shouted Izzy as she rode past. "OLE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Oh, sorry," said Chris over the PA, "Did I forget to mention that the land mines from this challenge in Season One are making a return? Heh heh. Heh." "Oh, that's so you Chris, heh heh," laughed Owen. Just then, Owen saw a busted chest laying on the ground. "What in the?" he asked. "Oh, that," said Chris, "I MIGHT have put a few chests in the mines for maximum hurt when they hit someone…maybe…I can't totally confirm I did or didn't put them in because then Menken will have my head." "Oh. Cool!" Owen picked up the chest and saw that it was his. "SWEET!" cried Owen. He hopped back on his bike and began to try and ride off, but he heard a deflating noise and his tires began to shrink. "Oh man," he said, "I guess I'm fatter than I want to be. Darn. That makes me feel sad. I guess I'll have to eat later to make me feel better."

Katie and Sadie were walking their bikes, since Sadie was scared of falling off and hurting herself. "Oh my gosh," said Sadie, "Thanks for walking with me, Katie." "Oh my gosh, no problem," said Katie. "You know you and I are-" "Like one person? Yeah, I feel like that too," agreed Sadie. "Well, it might be because we share one mind," said Katie. "Oh my gosh, maybe that's i-" An explosive went off under their feet, flinging them in the air and knocking a chest in the air. It bonked into Sadie and got stuck in her belly fat. "Ummm…" said Sadie, studying it. She noticed it was a brown chest with no logo on it. "This must be Justin's," said Katie. Just then, said arrogant smelly jerk rode past and grabbed it out of her belly fat. "Thanks for doing the work for me, girls," he called back, and rode off. "Grrr," said Katie. "Well, we're on the same team," said Sadie. "It's not that big of a problem." "Oh my gosh yeah," remembered Katie. "You're so smart." "No, you are." "No, you a-"

Chris stood at the finish line, playing cards with Chef. "Do you got a three?" "Go fish." Heather raced across the finish line, juggling her chest. "Well done, Heather!" cried Chris. "I'm, er, surprised that you've managed to make it here so fast. You only took ten minutes!" "Let's just say I had some, uh, help," chuckled Heather. "Congratulations," said Chris. "You've won immunity if your team loses!" Justin sped across the finish line soon afterwards. "Huh," said Chris, "Justin, you're full of surprises! Not only are you not totally rank, but you also have crossed the line! Well done!"

*Confessional Begins*

Justin: Oh yeah, everyone underestimated me back when I was stanky. But now I'm back in the game, and I think I do have a very decent chance of winning. I'm back, baby.

Heather: Pfft, Justin thinks he's real special. He apparently doesn't realize that I was the first to cross the finish line, not him. Hmm, maybe I need to teach him a lesson to show that he can't defeat me…

Justin: By the way, I'm not trying to be the villain again, since we all know how well that turned out the last time I did. I was just saying that for views.

Owen: *Eats a whole wheel of cheese in one bite* Welp, I'm not sad anymore. I'm gassy, but not sad. Heh.

*Confessional Ends*

Izzy was riding by herself, talking to herself. "And then Explosivo blew up the government building! Haha! BOOM BOO-" Just then, she crashed into Lindsay, who was slowly trodding along in front of her. "Ow!" said Lindsay. "Explosivo says sorry," said Izzy. "It's okay, Izzy, AND Explosivo. I forgive you both." "Ha ha, excellent," said Izzy. "BOOM BOOM!" she hit a tree nearby which had a chest nestled in one of its branches, knocking the chest out. The chest fell out and just as it was about to hit the ground, Izzy grabbed it. It was red with the Ballers' symbol on it. "AND EXPLOSIVO SWOOPS IN FOR THE KILL! HAHA!" Izzy rode off, leaving Lindsay very confused.

*Confessional Begins*

Lindsay: What just happened?

*Confessional Ends*

Down at the finish line, Izzy swooped in, with her treasure chest in hand. "And IZZY is the first member of the Ballers to make it to the finish line, and has won immunity in case her team loses!" Chris announced. "Yeah-hea-hea!" laughed Izzy, and she rushed into the center of the frame. "I'd like to thank all the little people for this achievement! I'd like to thank the academy, as well as Owen, but I'd most like to thank Explosivo for-" "Okay," said Chris, pushing her out of the frame, "Back to my fabulous face. Now, I-"

While Chris was busy mugging to the camera, Owen was still on the hill trying to get his bike to work.

*Confessional Begins*

Owen: Great buttery biscuits, I'm having trouble! This is way more difficult then I thought it would be. I want to eat to make myself feel less stressed-No! *Slaps himself* Gotta stay fit! Ah, I'm doing good keeping away from the food. Better have another cheese wheel as a reward to myself!" *Stuffs a cheese wheel in his mouth and farts* What?

*Confessional Ends*

DJ was riding his bike, when suddenly, he crammed on the brakes. A bunny was hopping in front of him. "Oh, hey there, little bunny, what's goin' on?" he asked. The bunny looked cheerfully at him. Just then, Leshawna crammed on the brakes next to him. "There you are, buddy," she said. "Oh, hey, Leshawna," greeted DJ. "Did you, uh, find any chests yet?" "No," said DJ, "I've just been admiring na-" Leshawna tossed the chest to DJ. "Whoa," he said, "Thanks Leshawna." "I need some help in exchange for that." "Sure," said DJ, adjusting his glasses, "What's up, Leshawna?!" "Heather and Harold have an alliance going, and they're trying to get rid of anyone they see as a threat or straight up don't like. They've already done it with Trent and tried it with Lindsay, and we can't give them the opportunity to try it with anyone else. Why don't we team up and make an alliance to get rid of them?" She held out her hand for DJ to shake it. DJ thought for a second, then shook it. "Eh, why not, I'm not trynna get voted off by Heather and Harold."

*Confessional Begins*

DJ: Wow, that's still weird. Harold's turned to the dark side. Ain't he ever heard of bros before hoes?

*Confessional Ends*

"Great," said Leshawna, "But we should find one more person to help us out. And I think I know exactly who…"

Lindsay was still struggling along in the wilderness. Leshawna and DJ pulled up behind her. "Hey, white girl," said Leshawna. "Oh hey LaFonda." "Lesha-" "I was joking. What's up?" "Well," said Leshawna, "Harold and Heather have joined forces-" "Really? Heather and HAROLD? That's kinda weird man." "I know, I thought so too," agreed DJ. "Annnyway," said Leshawna, "They tried to vote you out last episode, and they were the reason Trent was eliminated. I don't think you want Heather to eliminate you again." "Uh, no." "Me and DJ are forming an alliance, and we were wondering if you'd like to join-" "Yes," interrupted Lindsay. "I am not gonna get taken down by Heather again. I'll help you take her down." "That's my girl," said DJ, smiling. "Now come on, let's get on down to the finish line," said Leshawna. "Wait!" said Lindsay, "I gotta find my chest still!" "Uh," said DJ, pointing to something on the ground by Lindsay's tire, "It's right there." "Oh," she said, bending down and picking up her chest. "Oops. Okay, we can go!" and they sped off.

*Confessional Begins*

Leshawna: I gotta admit, I was planning to ask Tyler if he wanted to join our alliance. I know Lindsay would like it, and Tyler's my boy, but after seeing his 'display of skill' with that tree today, I dunno…

*Confessional Ends*

Owen was still struggling with his bike on the hill. Beth rode out of the forest and stopped by him. "Hey Owen," said Beth, "Need any help?" "No thanks Beth," said Owen, "This challenge is too awesome for me to not finish by myself! So thanks but no thanks!" "Okay," smiled Beth, and she rode off.

Down at the finish line, Lindsay, DJ, and Leshawna crossed the line, followed shortly by Noah. "All right, seriously, Chris?" said Noah, "My chest was in a bear's mouth." "Hey man," said Chris, "Legally, I didn't do it. Off the record, it was hard sneaking into the bear's cave." "Whatever, McLean," said Noah, "You'd better include that scene where I fought off that bear with my bare hands in the episode.

*Confessional Begins*

Chris: We were long on time, so we 'unfortunately' had to cut that part out. Heh heh.

*Confessional Ends*

Heather, Justin, Izzy, Noah, Lindsay, DJ, and Leshawna all sat down in lawn chairs like Chris's as Beth rode down through the finish line. "Beth!" said Chris. "Pull up a chair! We've been waiting for you." Beth was shortly followed by Ezekiel and Bridgette. "Nice work, you two!" he said. "I almost died during this challenge!" said Ezekiel angrily. "I'm truly sorry," Chris said before he busted out laughing. "I'm sorry," he said between guffaws, "I couldn't say that with a straight face." Heather smirked while the others glared at Chris.

Meanwhile, Duncan was still searching for his treasure chest, when Harold walked up to him. "Hey Duncan," he smirked, "How's it going?" "Oh, it's going fine, Heather's Bitch." "Wha-" Duncan spun around and grabbed Harold by the shirt and shouted in his face. "You think you're reeeeal sneaky, planning with Heather to eliminate people you don't like. If you even try that with-" Harold slapped Duncan's hand away. "Don't touch me, you punk," he snapped. "I'm not just a nerd you can bully any more. I'm bigger, stronger, and-" "Oh really?" said Duncan, rolling his eyes. He reached behind Harold and gave him an enormous wedgie, and hung his waistband from a nearby tree. "Hey!" shouted Harold. "Get me down! HEY!" Duncan whistled innocently and walked away.

*Confessional Begins*

Harold: Ow! My tushy! I mean, uh, I'm strong and manly so that totally didn't affect me.

Duncan: Wimp thinks he can stand up to me. Pfft. Right. Who does he think he is, Alejandro?

Harold: MY TUSHYYYYYY!

*Confessional Ends*

Harold struggled in the tree a little bit, trying to get down, before his waistband snapped, sending him to the ground. When he fell, he landed on a rock, which split open, revealing… "My treasure chest! GOSH, THIS IS SO ABSURD! WHY WOULD-"

As Harold did his thing (bitched and moaned), Duncan continued to search. He passed Cody. "Hey nerd, how's it going?" Cody sneered. "Just fine, thanks. I see you haven't found your chest." "Neither have you, apparently." "Shut up." "Hey man, do you want another punch to the face?" Duncan walked up to Cody and got right up in his face. "You wanna go, dweeb?" Yeah, let's go! Right now!" Just then, Chris' voice came over the PA. "As fun as it is watching you two ladies, I'll have you know that the rest of your respective teams have crossed the finish line! Including Harold, who is currently yelling at me for putting his chest in a rock. EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO MAKE THE CHALLENGE DIFFICULT, HAROLD!" "Gosh!" Duncan and Cody turned and looked at each other. "Guess I'll have to save the ass-whoopin' for later," said Cody. "Pfft, okay," said Duncan, rolling his eyes. The two ran in their separate directions.

*Confessional Begins*

Cody: Duncan doesn't seem to think I'll be able to fight him. Please. I've been working out between seasons, since people were trying to start stuff at school about Sierra.

Duncan: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Cody, thinking he can beat me up? He should be a comedian. AH-HA-HA-HA!

Cody: Duncan think he's real tough, but if I could K.O. him in one hit in season three as a twig, I don't think I'll have a problem after having worked out for four seasons.

Duncan: Heh-heh-heh. Hoo-hoo. Ha. Oh, good times. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

*Confessional Ends*

Down at the finish line, Chris had just put down his microphone for the PA, when Chef came up to him. "Chris-man, I need to ask you something." "What's going on, Chef?" "You know how you said that everyone is at the finish line except those two? Where's fat-boy?" "Huh," pondered Chris. "That's true, Owen's not here yet." He thought for a second. "You know, he DID get hit by a mine later. I wonder…" Chris and Chef looked at each other for a couple seconds, then began guffawing loudly.

Up on the hill, Owen was still getting his bike to work, but by now both tires had deflated.

*Confessional Begins*

Owen: *Writing on a long piece of toilet paper* This is the final will and testament of I, Owen Kyle Birch III, the naturalist. *Sighs* At least I'm dying among my animal kin. *Munches on another cheese wheel and farts*

*Confessional Ends*

"I'M GONNA DIE!" screamed Owen. "I'M GONNA DIE, STUCK ON A FREAKIN' HILL!" Owen let out a little toot. "Holy molly," he said, "My belly's doing some unkind things to m-THAT'S IT!" he realized. He got on his bike, pulled down his pants and underwear, bent over and stuck his butt out behind him. "GERONIMO!" he screamed, and he let it rip.

The contestants, and Chris, and Chef were standing down at the finish line, when all of a sudden, an extremely loud fart was heard. They looked back towards the woods, and some trees fell in the forest. Owen could be heard in the distance, screaming. Everybody covered their noses as their eyes teared up. Owen barreled into the area and crashed into a nearby tree. His bike fell apart, and he fell off, his treasure chest falling out of his hands. Everyone stood in stunned silence. Owen peeled himself off the tree, and suddenly, Chris, DJ, Izzy, Tyler, and Ezekiel burst into applause. "BRO!" shouted DJ. "THAT WAS SICK AS HELL, EH!" Ezekiel exclaimed. "YEAH, OWEN!" cheered Tyler. "THAT's my Big O!" giggled Izzy, and she jumped towards Owen and gave him a big hug. "Oh, man, this is so nice! I guess eating paid off!" giggled Owen. "I can't help feeling something's off, though…" Just then, Izzy kneed him in the kiwis. "Uhp," said Owen, in pain, but with a smile on his face. "There it is!" "Owen," said Chris, "That was so badass, I'm going to straight up give you immunity in case your team loses." "YEAH!" said Owen, still cupping his kiwis, "WOO-HOO!"

*Confessional Begins*

Owen: YEAH BUDDY! BIG O IS BACK! I guess being fat ain't so bad, so I'd better start eating up if I want to regain my weight! *Pulls out a quadruple- bacon cheeseburger and eats it in one bite* Ahh, there we go. I'm feeling the grease encrusting my organs already. *His belly bursts out of his shirt*

*Confessional Ends*

Out in the field, Duncan and Cody were still searching for their chests when Chris came over the PA. "Owen's arrived, you two are the last two! You'd better hurry, unless one of you wants to be the one to lose the challenge for their team!" "Son of a bitch!" said Duncan.

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: God damn it, I can't find the thing! I did find a gray one, but that one didn't have a logo on it. Wait a minute, Chris said everyone else has already found their chest and me and Cody are the only ones le… Ah shit, I've been played.

*Confessional Ends*

Duncan realized that he was exactly in the area where he had knocked Noah down. He saw Noah's outline in the dirt and his spilled mocha nearby. He looked in the area where he had found the gray chest with no symbol and looked at it. Sure enough, he could see that the Ballers' image was scratched out. "Oh man," said Duncan, "Hipster boy's in for an ass-whooping." Duncan hopped back on his bike and raced for the finish line. However, just as the finish line came into view, Cody came out of nowhere and raced across it, right in front of Duncan. "Uhp, did I do that?" he teased. "AND CODY WINS THE CHALLENGE FOR THE REJECTS!" called Chris, holding Cody's arm in the air. They cheered, and Bridgette leapt into Ezekiel's arms and kissed him.

Meanwhile, Duncan stewed in anger, until he realized the rest of his team were glaring at him. He turned around and faced them "Oh, what?! WHAT?!" shouted Duncan. Noah snickered. "Goodbye, Punk-Boy," he said. "YOU!" said Duncan. "I'VE GOT TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!" Duncan charged towards Noah, and steam was literally coming out his ears. "D'AH!" screamed Noah, and he ran away, Duncan chasing him. "COME HERE, NOAH! I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND!" "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK! CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?!" Chris giggled. "Legally, I'm not supposed to allow this. But sorry Menken, it's just too damn funny. Heh heh. Heh."

That night, the Ballers were getting ready to go to elimination. Meanwhile, they could hear the Rejects' cabin blasting music and shaking with bass. Every Reject was in the cabin, partying. All except one. Heather snuck behind the Ballers' cabin and saw the mysterious figure she had met earlier. "So," she said. "Your team lost. Nice job, by the way." "Shut up," growled the figure. "So, I've been thinking about your proposal, and I'm not totally sure I trust you." "ME?! You don't trust ME?!" said Heather in mock surprise. The figure continued. "You need to do something to earn my trust. I'm probably gonna be eliminated tonight, but if I am, you'll be out of allies, except for Harold of course." Heather shuddered in disgust. "Eliminate who I want eliminated tonight, and then we'll talk," finished the figure. "Fine," agreed Heather, "Who do you want eliminated?" The figure chuckled. "I'm so very glad you asked. It's someone who's not necessarily a threat, but they're a pest that got in my way today. Who I want eliminated is…"

Soon, the Ballers had all arrived at the campfire pit. "So, Ballers," snickered Chris, "Impressive performance today, especially by Duncan. Getting beat by Cody, ouch, that's gotta hurt." "Hey man," said Duncan, "That's on hipster boy back there!" he gestured to Noah, who he had brutally beaten and currently had his head, neck, right arm, and both legs in casts. He had an IV tube hooked to his arm, and interestingly enough, it was filled with mocha. "Not cool!" came Noah's muffled voice from under the cast over his head. Chris snickered again. "Alright, time to vote, you all!" called Chris.

The contestants all walked to the confessional, one by one, to vote, and one by one, they were all confronted by Heather. Soon, they had all cast their ballots. "Huh," said Chris, looking through the ballots. "This is very, VERY interesting. Alright, when I call your name, you are safe from elimination. Owen and Izzy, you both won immunity!" Chris tossed the marshmallows to the couple, and they began making out. "Eeeeeewwwww," groaned Chris. "Moving on from that disgustingness, let's see here. Harold, Tyler, DJ, and Leshawna, you all are safe. That only leaves Duncan and Noah. Duncan, you're on the chopping block for losing the challenge. And Noah, you're on the chopping block for sabotaging your own teammate! Not cool man!" A muffled "He deserved it!" came from Noah. "All right," said Chris. "Let's see. All right folks, this is it. The final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

"Duncan."

"YES!" shouted Duncan. "WHAT?!" cried Noah.

*Confessional Begins*

DJ: Heather told me to vote for Noah, and yeah, I got no argument there. Dude pulled a Scott and sabotaged his own teammate. Not cool, man.

Owen: Heather tried to get me to vote for Noah. I mean, Noah IS my little buddy, but he DID sabotage us, his own team. Hmmm…

Duncan: Buh-bye, Noah.

Leshawna: Not cool, Indian Boy. You do NOT make us lose the challenge, you little punk.

Tyler: Sorry, Noah.

Noah: *muffled* There's no way Duncan's not going down! So what if I sort of inadvertently made us lose the challenge?

Harold: GOSH! There's no way I'm giving up a chance to vote off Duncan, especially after he DESTROYED MY FAVORITE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR TODAY!

*Confessional Ends*

Noah was wheeled down the Dock of Shame and to the Boat of Losers in a wheelchair, still in shock. "Wow, gotta admit, did NOT see that one coming," said Chris. "I thought for sure Duncan the LOSING LOSEY PANTS was a goner!" "Gee thanks, Chris," said Duncan, rolling his eyes. "Anywhoo, join us for more shocking eliminations in the next episode of Total! Drama! Reloaded!"

The Ballers split and went their own directions. Duncan made a beeline for the back of the Ballers' cabin. There, waiting for him, was Heather. "So you actually did it. I'm surprised." "For real?" said Heather, "Told you I could do it. So, will you join me?" "How can I make sure you're not gonna get rid of me once I've outlived my usefulness?" inquired Duncan. "You'll just have to take my word for it," said Heather.

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: Alright, if there's one thing I know for certain about Heather, it's that you can never take her word for anything. Hell, you can't even take her word if she says she's gonna backstab you. Hmm, I guess I'll just have to beat Heather at her own game.

Heather: Of course he can't take my word for it. Hello, I'm ME. I'll use him to help me get rid of anyone Harold can't, and then I'll dump him when the time is right. I'll bring Harold to the finale with me, and he's too in love with me to allow me to lose. It's a perfect strategy, and I'll earn back the money Alejandro stole from me in World Tour! Hmph. Handsome, arrogant, thieving, infuriating…and all mine.

*Confessional Ends*

Heather held out her hand. "Deal?" Duncan pondered for a second, then shook it. "Deal."


	8. A Killer Challenge

It was Friday night. At Camp Remanier, everyone was relaxing. Heather and Harold were discussing strategy. Cody was in the confessional, and Duncan pushed it over, eliciting a scream from within. Beth was talking to one of her government superiors, Leshawna was talking to Lindsay and DJ about their alliance, Ezekiel and Bridgette were making out, Tyler was in the infirmary after having been injured again. Justin was trying to sleep, but was kept awake by Owen's loud eating. And finally, Katie and Sadie were talking about which of them was prettier. But that's not where the most important occasion of the night was taking place.

Toronto Maximum Security Correctional Facility is located on the mainland, right on the bay. The prison contains several dangerous inmates, including the criminal known only as "The Psycho Killer with the Chainsaw and a Hook". Interestingly enough, it was also where Chris McLean was kept after his imprisonment following Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, and where Duncan was kept after he was arrested in Total Drama All-Stars. Even though she had not yet had a trial, Eva was being held there as well, since it was the only major prison in the area capable of containing her rage. At this moment, she was pounding on her cell's glass door and shouting in anger.

However, far away from the main cell block, a long hallway protected by several electronic gates leads to two cells, which contain the most dangerous inmates in the prison. There is nothing in the two cells except padded walls, a bed, a toilet, a sink, and an extremely thick glass window in the top-left corner of the cell. A 11-inch thick glass wall stands between the inmates and the hallway, preventing their escape. The only person allowed to access the cells is the guard assigned to them.

The resident of the cell to the left, a 35-year-old inmate, when he was free, had killed over two hundred people. His weapon of choice, which he had made himself, was a glove armed with razor blades. His name was Alberto Crugar, but everyone called him the 'Toronto Tyrant'. He had finally been arrested after slaughtering a group of stupid kids at a summer camp, and had been sentenced to prison without even a trial, as not even his court-assigned lawyer believed that he was innocent.

However, nearly nothing was known about the inmate occupying the cell on the right, save the fact that he had been injured in a police shootout and the left half of his face had been burned, including his left eye. The inmate had killed two police officers while he was free and had attempted escape over 200 times, which led to his incarceration in the maximum security wing.

The guard was walking down the hallway, carrying a tray of dinner for Crugar and the other inmate. He walked up to the Tyrant's glass door and knocked on it. "Yo, 'Berto. Dinner. Move away from the door, you know the drill." Normally, he would hear shuffling from inside the cell as the Toronto Tyrant moved away from the door. This time, though, he heard nothing. "Yo, Tyrant! Move it!" Still nothing. He heard what sounded like wind blowing inside the cell. "Oh, shit," muttered the guard. He pushed in the code on the number pad next to the door, and stepped back as it slid open.

The guard entered the cell. Sure enough, there was a breeze blowing into the room. He looked around to see where it was coming from, and there was a medium-sized hole in the cell's wall…large enough for a man to fit through. The guard gasped. He then turned and saw a message written in blood on the wall: 'The Tyrant retakes his throne'. The guard ran to the window, which was looking out over the bay, and saw several dead guards lying on the shore, and a police boat speeding away, most likely with Crugar inside it. The boat appeared to be speeding towards a certain island camp in the distance.

"Oh shit," thought the guard as he realized the other inmate's cell was empty as well, with a small hole in the right side of the wall. The guard raced down the hallway, sounded the alarm and ran down to the beach. He figured that even though it was too late to stop Crugar, he could still stop the other inmate from escaping. However, when he reached the beach, to his shock, the inmate was still there, bent over a very injured guard, applying a tourniquet over the guard's right arm, where there appeared to be a large slash, matching the shape of the Tyrant's claws.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" asked the guard. The inmate turned his head and brushed his hair out of his one good eye. "I stopped Crugar from killing this man," said the inmate. "I was trying to stop him from escaping, since I only just found out he'd been digging his way out with his claws, and he just so happened to dig a little too far to the left, and dug a hole in my cell wall, too." "How the hell did he get them in his cell?" asked the guard. "You tell me that," replied the inmate. Just then, the guard noticed a slash mark across the inmate's chest. "I assume Crugar gave you that when you tried to save this guy?" "Listen, this make-shift tourniquet from my sleeve will only last so long. You gonna get medical staff down here or do you plan to let this guy bleed out?" asked the inmate. "Right," said the guard, and he called for medical staff on his radio. "Tell me, why didn't you escape?" asked the guard to the inmate after he finished on the radio. The inmate looked at the guard. "I'm changed. I'm looking for a chance to get out of here, legally. Because I have a new purpose for when I get out." "Whatever man," said the guard as he handcuffed the inmate, "You know I have to get you back in there right?" "Just as soon as the paramedics arrive," said the inmate.

Meanwhile, at Camp Remanier, Chris McLean was sitting in his control booth. He was talking with Chef to try and make a night challenge. "What if," said Chef, "We mix the boot camp challenge with-" "No Chef, we already did the boot camp!" "Oh come on, man!" "What if," said Chris, "What if we mix the forest challenge from episode 5 with part of the challenge from episode 7?" "Why not?" agreed Chef. "Yo, just for shits and giggles, we should throw in the Psycho Killer challenge!" "I wish I could," said Chris, "But we received a bunch of lawsuits from DJ's Momma about scaring the piss out of him, so Menken says we're not allowed to do that challenge again." "Eh, who gives a shit about him?" "Excuse me, Chef, but I don't want to go back to prison. Place was messed up. Anyway, time to announce the challenge." Chris bent over his microphone and pushed the button, activating the PA. "Attention, fresh meat, please report to the main circle." He then turned to Chef. "Well, let's go debrief them." He and Chef walked off towards the campfire circle.

When they arrived, all the campers were waiting there, all of them looking upset. "Bon soir, friends," cackled Chris. "This had better be good," said Justin, "You woke me up from my beauty-er-ugly sleep." "Oh don't worry, it is," said Chris. "It's time for your next challenge."

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: Well, isn't that special.

*Confessional Ends*

Chris opened his mouth to continue, but Cody shouted over him. "I have a complaint, McLean!" He pulled out his treasure chest from the last challenge. "The chest is empty! There's supposed to be a reward inside!" "Oh I'm sorry," cackled Chris, "I don't remember saying that. I only remember saying you were supposed to collect them. I never said what was inside it." Cody growled in anger.

"Today," continued Chris, "you will once again not have two challenges, but one big challenge that is a combination of two. Today, your challenge will be a mix of the forest challenge from episode 5, and the portage challenge from episode 7."

*Confessional Begins*

Bridgette: Oh god, don't tell me we've got to freaking carry canoes.

*Confessional Ends*

"Each team," said Chris, "Will go off into the woods in separate locations and camp for the night. The first team to make it back here to camp in the morning AS A TEAM will win." "You said that there would also be the portage challenge thrown in there," said Tyler. "I don't see how canoes have anything to do with this…" "I WAS GETTING TO THAT, TYLER!" said Chris, and he tossed a rock at Tyler's head. This time, however, Tyler managed to dodge it and it flew past his head, hitting a squirrel and causing DJ to scream, "MAN, WHAT DID THAT SQUIRREL DO TO YOU!"

Chris cackled. "Anyways, in answer to Tyler's question, you will be provided supplies, but you will have to carry it yourself! Each team member will have to carry something for themselves, and don't even think about keeping your supplies in the duffel bag, because if you do, your team will instantly be headed to elimination. The only exception is the sleeping bags, those can be kept in the duffel bag. Now, here are your supplies."

With that, Chef tossed two duffel bags at the teams' feet. Leshawna bent down and looked through the Ballers' bag. "A 10-person tent, a ground tarp, some dehydrated food, sleeping bags, some fire starters, a flashlight, and a map. Huh." "The map will lead you to your assigned camping location," said Chris. Beth peeked in the Rejects' bag, and saw that the same things were in there. "All right, any questions?" asked Chris. Harold began to raise his hand, before Heather pulled it down. "Good," said Chris. "Now, each team, decide who's going to carry which item."

There was some in-fighting between the teams, but eventually, it was decided. For the Ballers, Owen would carry the tent, Tyler would carry the duffel bag, Duncan would carry the food, Izzy would carry the map, Leshawna would carry the fire starters, and Harold would carry the ground tarp. Meanwhile, at the Rejects, Ezekiel was carrying the flashlight, Bridgette was carrying the map, Lindsay was carrying the fire starters, Katie and Sadie (since they were essentially one person) were carrying the sleeping bags, Heather would carry the fire starters (something she was not happy about), Beth and Cody would carry the tent, and Justin would carry the ground tarp. "Hold on a sec," said Zeke. He grabbed the duffel bag from Katie and Sadie and raced into the boys' cabin. He came back shortly afterwards and handed it back to Katie and Sadie. "Sorry," said Zeke, "Had to check something." "Now that that's done," shouted Chris, "Your challenge begins…now!" He blew his airhorn and the teams scattered.

"Heh, how long do you think it'll take for them to crack, Chef?" He turned around, but his black, burly cohost wasn't there. "Uh, Chef? Cheeef? Hello?" He saw some footprints and scrapes in the ground. It looked like someone had snuck up on Chef and dragged him away. However, Chris took no notice. He simply rolled his eyes, said, "Hrm, he must be off eating ice cream and sitting around somewhere. Lazybones," and walked back to his control tent.

The Ballers were racing through the forest. "Uh, hey, Izzy, which way do we go next?" asked Tyler. "Well," said Izzy, "It says here that we should turn right!" "Wait, what?" said Leshawna, "Girl, you've said we should go right for the past five forks in the road we've reached. Are you sure-" With that, they arrived back at the main circle, where they had left from. Everyone stood in angered silence. "Oh, uh, sorry," said Izzy. "Well, you see, right is right and-" "Give me that!" said Leshawna, grabbing the map from her and tossing her the fire starters. They headed off again.

Meanwhile, the Rejects arrived at their assigned area, which was a small clearing in the woods. Near to it, there was a trail that led down to the lake. "Alright, ladies and gentlemen," said Cody, "The sooner we get the tent up and get to-" The team heard a rustling noise in the woods.

*Confessional Begins*

Cody: Uh, okay, that was pretty weird.

*Confessional Ends*

"Anyways, the sooner we get to sleep the sooner we wake up, and thus, the sooner we get back to camp." There was an awkward silence. "Huh, weird," said Lindsay, "I would expect Heather to blurt out that Cody can't tell us what to do since she is this team's leader and stuff." "I know," said Sadie. "Come to think of it-" "Where IS Heather?" finished Katie. Everyone looked around for the tall Asian lawyer, but she was nowhere to be found. "And where's Beth?" Justin brought up, with everybody noticing that the government was gone.

After some running, the Ballers arrived at their area, no thanks to Izzy. They all gasped when they saw a bear standing in the clearing. It roared at them, causing them to scream, but Izzy leapt forward and kneed it in its kiwis. The bear made a high-pitched squeal and limped back into the woods. "OLE!" cackled Izzy.

"All right," said Duncan, "We should start setting up here. So we can-" "You know, I just thought of something," said Leshawna, "Why don't we just go back to camp right now?" "Without sleep? Uh, sike," said Duncan, "We're setting up." With that, he dropped the food on the ground, and Owen dropped the tent. "I'm with Duncan," he said.

*Confessional Begins*

Owen: I need to sleep off all those cheese wheels I've eaten. *Eats an entire pizza*

Duncan: Owen knows what's up!

Leshawna: Hey, not my fault if we lose the challenge.

*Confessional Ends*

Soon, the Ballers had set up their campsite. They had built a fire, and were working on boiling water for their dinner. Meanwhile, the Rejects were having considerably less luck. Justin was struggling with the fire, while Katie and Sadie were trying with the tent, but weren't doing anything. Lindsay had dropped one of the food packets into her cleavage and Cody was reaching in and "helping her get it out". Meanwhile, Ezekiel and Bridgette were standing back and watching, shaking their heads.

*Confessional Begins*

Ezekiel: This is physically hurting me. I know how to live in a rustic way, having grown up on the farm, but they 'didn't need my help', eh.

*Confessional Ends*

Finally, Ezekiel couldn't take it anymore. He burst in and pushed Katie and Sadie off to the side. "Hey!" said Sadie, "What are you doing?" asked Katie. Ezekiel ignored them. "Bridgette, get the other side of the tent," he called, and Bridgette did so. In no time, the two had the tent set up, with Bridgette carefully following Ezekiel's instructions. "How'd you do that?" asked Justin. "I live on a farm, eh," Zeke replied. In the meantime, Cody was still fishing inside Lindsay's cleavage.

*Confessional Begins*

Lindsay: Huh, it was sure taking Cody a long time there. I swear he had it like twice, but he must have weak hands.

Cody: Oh, I have strong hands. I just know how to play.

Lindsay: My brain's been feeling lighter lately. I wonder if the serum's starting to wear off. Eh, nah.

*Confessional Ends*

Over at the Ballers, Leshawna was eating her newly un-dehydrated pasta with a stick when Harold sidled up alongside her. "Hey Leshawna," he said. Leshawna glared at Harold. "What do you want?" she snapped. "So, me and someone else are working on an alliance, and I was wondering if you'd like to join-" Leshawna slapped Harold across the face before he could finish his sentence. "Listen, you little white bitch! I know you and Heather are working together to eliminate me and the rest of my friends, so don't think you can trick me into a false sense of security! So in answer to your question, no, and go fuck yourself!" The sassy black ghetto girl stormed off angrily.

The Ballers all sat stunned, watching everything happen. "Wait, what?" said Owen.

*Confessional Begins*

Duncan: WO-HO-HO-HO-HO! SHE SAID LITTLE WHITE BITCH AND PIMP SLAPPED HIM! OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!

Harold: OW! MY DELICATE FACE!

Duncan: Hoo. Hoo hoo. HAW HAW HAW HAW-

*Confessional Ends*

Leshawna was stomping angrily through the forest. She was on her way to the confessional to rant. "Stupid little white nerd," she muttered under her breath, "Thinking he can go behind my back with Heather! Can't believe I dated him for like a wee-" Suddenly, the bushes next to her moved. "What the?" said Leshawna. She went to go inspect it. She pulled the bushes open, but there was nothing there. "Huh, that was we-" Suddenly, a clawed hand reached out from behind her and grabbed her by the arm. "What the-AAAAH!" Leshawna screamed.

Back at the Ballers' area, Owen was patching up Harold the best he could with leaves he had found nearby. "Do not worry, little buddy, these leaves will cure any problem you're suffering. Don't worry, I know…I'm a naturalist." "So," said Tyler, "What was that about?" "I, uh, honestly have no idea," said Harold. "It sounded like Leshawna said you were joining up with Heather," said Izzy. "ARE YOU?! ARE YOU TEAMING UP WITH HEATHER TO KILL US A-" "All right, enough," said Duncan. He pushed Izzy away. "Stop it! Leshawna was probably just on her period or something, so just chill out about Harold all right?!" Everyone was shocked.

*Confessional Begins*

Owen: Duncan being nice to Harold? That's stranger than Leshawna's flipping out.

Tyler: What is up with my team? I almost wish I was on the Rejects. Not only could I be with Lindsay, I'd also be with people who aren't as strange. But then I'd have to put up with Heather…

Duncan: All right, listen, hear me out. I'm not friggin turning soft, I'm not turning nice to Harold. The literal only reason I was defending him is that it might come up that I'M in an alliance with Heather too. Sure, Harold doesn't know about it, but a guy can't be too careful.

*Confessional Ends*

Just then, the Ballers heard Leshawna's scream. "What was that?" said Harold, who jumped at the scream. "Oooh, I bet Leshawna's getting mauled by a bear," cackled Izzy. "Everyone just chill," said DJ, "Leshawna's probably just getting her anger out. We should all get some sleep." Everyone agreed, and soon they had gotten into the tent and crawled into the sleeping bags. As the Ballers were beginning to fall asleep, none of them noticed a silhouette watching the tent from behind a tree. Crugar scratched the claw on his pinky finger on a tree, then walked back into the woods, Leshawna's unconscious body slung over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, at the Rejects' camp, they'd finally finished setting up camp, and by the time they had eaten their dinner, it was about 11:45 PM. Slowly, they began to fall asleep. Katie and Sadie fell asleep almost instantly; Cody tried to keep the fire going by collecting kindling; Bridgette fell asleep in Ezekiel's arms in his sleeping bag, with him soon falling asleep too; and Lindsay was rolling around and muttering in her sleep about Tyler.

In the meantime, Justin was still awake. He was having trouble falling asleep. He stretched out, then turned to Cody. "I'm going for a swim," he said. "Sure man, whatever," said Cody as he tossed a handful of dead leaves into the fire. Justin headed down the trail to the lake, taking off his shirt, socks, and shoes but leaving his shorts and boxers on.

*Confessional Begins*

Justin: Hey man, this is the closest thing I can get to a shower for tonight, so I gotta stick with it.

Cody: Hey man, at least Justin's lost his stank. Now I can at least stand to be within 2 feet of him.

*Confessional Ends*

Justin got in the water and floated around on his back for a little, when suddenly, he heard a large splash in the water near him. He got a little worried and started swimming back towards the shore. Suddenly, he felt a claw dig into his leg. Justin screamed out in fear and pain, when suddenly, he was dragged underwater.

However, his scream was not in vain, as the Rejects all awoke suddenly. "Uh," said Sadie, "What was THAT?!" "I dunno," said Bridgette, "But it sounded like Justin." "Huh," said Cody, "He just went down the trail to the lake to take a swim." "Oh my gosh," said Katie, "What if he got eaten by a shark?" "Yes," deadpanned Bridgette, "That's exactly what happened." "Oh my gosh, really?" asked Lindsay. Ezekiel sighed and facepalmed.

Meanwhile, the Ballers had heard Justin's scream too while at their camp. "All right," said DJ, "That was definitely not Leshawna. That sounded like Justin." "Pfft," said Duncan, "It's probably just Chris screwing with us." He pointed at a camera mounted on a tall pole and addressed it. "You hear that, McLean? We're on to you!" The camera cut back to Chris' control tent, to find it empty, with several of the monitors cracked and holes torn in the sides of the tent.

*Confessional Begins*

Izzy: Duncan thinks he's real smart. I'm on to him! I know that HE'S ACTUALLY THE HOST OF THE SHOW! I WILL EXPOSE YOU, YA PUNK!

*Confessional Ends*

"Chris?! Chriiiiis?" said Harold into the camera. "Gosh, something's up." "Yeah," said Tyler, "Chris shoulda come on the P.A. to mock us already!" "Huh," said DJ, "I have the slightest, tiniest inkling of a suspicion that something MAY POSSIBLY be wrong." "Maybe we should check out the Ballers' camp," said Harold. "Alright, Izzy, you and DJ stay here and hold down the camp in case this is a trick. Meanwhile, Duncan, Tyler, Owen, and I will head to the Ballers' camp." "I WILL LEAD THE WAY!" shouted Owen. "I am one with nature. I am the naturalist!" "Shut the fuck up, big guy," said Duncan, "and let's go!" The team headed off, while DJ sat on a log in camp. Izzy stood over the fire and suddenly thrust her butt over it. "Uh, Izzy, what are you doing?" asked DJ. In response, Izzy let loose a fart over the fire, creating a mushroom cloud. Suddenly, there were sounds of scuffling from Izzy. DJ coughed and wafted the smoke out of his face, and when he did, Izzy was gone. "What the fu-" began DJ, before he was hit in the back of his head with a large sack, which just happened to contain an unconscious Izzy. Crugar stood over the unconscious campers and smiled evilly.

The Rejects, meanwhile, had been feeling uneasy ever since Justin's scream was heard, and they too had decided to send out a search party. Obviously these guys have not learned anything from their past horror challenges. Ezekiel volunteered to lead the search party, and Bridgette, Cody, and Lindsay came with him, while Katie and Sadie stayed back at camp. They were about to leave, when Ezekiel reached down for the duffel bag and began digging around in it. "What you looking for there, homeschool?" asked Cody. In response, Ezekiel pulled out a bow and a quiver filled with arrows. "This was what I was looking for earlier. I always bring my bow and arrows with me in the woods." He slung the quiver over his back and held the bow in his right hand. "Wait, didn't you suck at archery in your audition tape?" asked Cody. "Hey man," said Ezekiel, "I just was distracted by the camera. Don't hate." With that, the group headed out.

Crugar dragged the two tall campers back to a large rock cave in the middle of the island. He entered, and threw their unconscious bodies on the ground. He pulled the bag down from Izzy just so that she could see her surroundings. She looked around and saw an unconscious Leshawna, DJ, and Heather lying on the ground, along with a recently captured Katie and Sadie. Meanwhile, Justin was clutching a large hole in his leg that Crugar had created when capturing him, and Beth was trying to help him with it. Chef and Chris were also lying tied up in a corner of the cave. Chef had a gag over his mouth after having tried to bite Crugar several times. Meanwhile, Chris was fearful for both his life and his career. "Listen, Mr. Toronto Tyrant man, my career in showbiz is very prominent. You can kill these guys, but let me and Chef live, and we'll-" The Tyrant shoved his claws in Chris's face, shutting him up. "I don't think you understand, McLean. I'm gonna kill everybody on this island."

The Ballers' mini-team was heading through the woods, with Owen trying to make it look like he was leading them, but he actually had no idea what he was doing. "Hey Owen," said Harold, "Didn't we already go past that tree like twice?" Duncan stopped in his tracks. "Well freakin' great. Have we SERIOUSLY been going in circles? I swear to god Owen, I'm gonna-" Suddenly, Crugar lept from the woods behind them and drove his claws into Harold's right arm. Harold screamed and grabbed it in pain. The rest of the team reacted in shock, and this gave Crugar the opportunity to strike at them. Crugar backhanded Owen in the face, knocking him over right on top of Tyler. "ACK!" Tyler screamed. "Get him off me!" Crugar turned towards Duncan's direction, only to see that the punk was gone. He shrugged. "3 out of 4 ain't bad," he said to himself, grabbing a hurt Harold and swinging him over his shoulder. "Wait, how the hell am I supposed to get this fat kid back to the cave?"

Duncan was tearing through the woods, and saw a clearing coming up ahead. He ran into the clearing, tripped and fell, looked up, and saw an arrow pointed in his face. "Hello, Duncan," said Ezekiel. "Oh, thank god," said Duncan. "I never thought I'd actually be happy to see you dweebs. Harold and the rest of my team just got taken!" "Ta-taken?" asked Lindsay, "Like the Liam Neeson movie?" "Who's Liam Neeson?" pondered Ezekiel. "He's an actor," explained Bridgette. "Listen, can we stop with the small talk? Short story short, there's a serial killer on this island trying to END US ALL!" exclaimed Duncan. He began to get up again, when suddenly, something grabbed onto his leg and pulled him back into the darkness of the trees. Lindsay screamed out in fear. "SHIT!" cried Ezekiel. He fired an arrow into the woods and heard a noise that sounded like the arrow coming into contact with human flesh, and a loud scream.

"We should split up!" said Lindsay. "There's no way he'll be able to track down all of us!" With that, she ran off in one direction. "Uh, yeah, what she said," said Cody, and he ran off in a different direction.

*Confessional Begins*

Cody: You know man, for once I prefer having Sierra stalk me.

*Confessional Ends*

Bridgette sighed. "Obviously those guys have never seen a horror movie." "Uh, me neither," said Ezekiel. "Well yeah," said Bridgette, "But you have an excuse, having lived on a farm all your life." "Anyways," said Ezekiel, "I think our best bet is heading back to the main campsite." "Well then, we'd better stop talking about it and actually do it if we don't wanna, you know, GET KILLED!" With that, the couple took off running, Ezekiel holding his bow at the ready.

Crugar dragged Duncan back to his cave. Duncan surveyed his surroundings, and noticed the hurt or unconscious contestants, including Owen and Tyler, with the latter still stuck underneath the former. "How the hell did you get THEM here?" asked Duncan. "Don't ask," Crugar growled, and pulled Ezekiel's arrow out of his shoulder, dropping it onto the ground. "Now then, you all don't go anywhere," the Tyrant laughed as he ran his claw down the wall of the cave. As he exited it, he replaced a large boulder in front of the cave to prevent escape.

*Confessional Begins*

Harold: Ha. I get it. Don't go anywhere. Because we're trapped in a cave. I get it.

*Confessional Ends*

After Crugar exited the cave, Leshawna sprung up. "You know what? I'm not bouta sit around here and let this white sociopath play anymore. I'm getting us out of here." "Uh, all righty, good luck," said Duncan. "In case you didn't notice, THERE'S A GIANT BOULDER IN FRONT OF THE CAVE, BLOCKING OUR EXIT!" Just then, Leshawna looked down at the arrow lying at her feet. "I've got an idea," she said.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel and Bridgette were prowling through the woods when suddenly, they heard a rustling noise in the woods. Ezekiel turned and fired an arrow in that direction. He heard a pained hoot from an owl. "Oops," said Ezekiel sheepishly. Off in the distance, he heard Lindsay's scream. "Damn, looks like we're another team member down," said Bridgette. "You know what?" said Ezekiel, "I'm not going to stand for this anymore. We have to find and free our teammates." So they followed the sounds of the Tyrant's footprints and soon found the man himself, carrying an unconscious Lindsay. The Tyrant glanced around him, then rolled open the boulder and entered the cave. Ezekiel and Bridgette quickly approached.

Inside the cave, Crugar deposited Lindsay on the ground, then glanced at Leshawna, who was sitting on the ground, looking quite suspicious. "What is it? Are you feeling…uncomfortable?" mocked Crugar, running his claw along the wall by her head. "Just a little," she said, "since, you know, you're ABOUT TO KILL US!" "Don't worry," chuckled Crugar, "It'll all be over soon." As the two were talking, Ezekiel and Bridgette snuck into the cave behind him, and sat on the ground, Ezekiel sitting on his bow to hide it. They made eye contact with Leshawna and saw the arrow she was trying to hide, and she saw Ezekiel's bow and quiver. They nodded at each other in understanding. The Tyrant got up to head back into the woods, when he turned and saw Ezekiel and Bridgette. "I don't recall catching you," the Tyrant said. Ezekiel grabbed his arm in mock injury, and Bridgette played along. "Well you should remember, you stabbed my boyfriend in the arm!" The Tyrant looked down at them. "Little lady, I've stabbed so many people in the arm in my time, I don't remember one toque-wearing dick."

Suddenly, Ezekiel sprung up with his bow and arrow in hand. "Well you'll remember me as the dick who caught you, eh." The Tyrant was not impressed. "Please," he said. He charged at Ezekiel, who shot an arrow directly in the area of his face. However, Crugar simply held out his clawed hand, deflecting the area. Bridgette screamed as the Tyrant drove his claws into Ezekiel's chest. The captured contestants watched the scuffle in terror. "Did you seriously think you could stop me?" asked the Tyrant mockingly. "No," coughed Ezekiel, "I was just distracting you so she could stab you, eh." "Wha-" the Tyrant began.

All of a sudden, Leshawna raced over to the Tyrant, pulled out her arrow that she was hiding, and then stabbed the tyrant in his back. The Tyrant screamed in pain, and then Bridgette kneed him in the face, knocking him out and causing him to fall to the ground. "THAT's for hurting my boyfriend," she said.

Soon, everyone had been freed. Chris called the cops, and Crugar was retrieved.

He woke up back in his cell in Toronto Correctional, only this time, his cell walls were steel. The inmate in the cell next door was looking at him through the glass door. "Hello, Crugar." "Oh great, it's YOU. Am I seriously here again?" "Welcome back to Toronto Correctional Facility," the inmate said. "They went through all this trouble to modify your cell so you won't escape again." "It's gonna be a darn shame that all this work went to nothing when you let me out." "Why would I ever do that?" "I let you escape." "And I gave myself up again willingly," the inmate replied. "I've had it with escape attempts. I helped save an officer you almost killed's life. That, and the fact that I'm going to testify against you in court, are allowing me out of here. My sentence will be completely commuted." "You snitch!" the Tyrant said, banging on his cell door. The inmate smiled. "I need to get out. I need to finish something I started while I was out there." He ran his finger down the long burn scar on the left side of his face. Just then the guard entered. "Time's up," he said. The inmate held his hands up and the guard prepared to take him back to his next-door cell. "Oh, and by the way," said the inmate mockingly, "You got beat by a bunch of college-age kids. I'd say you don't really live up to your reputation, Tyrant." With that, the inmate re-entered his cell. The guard walked over to Crugar's cell and began pushing some buttons on the side of his cell. "Not happening, Alberto," said the guard. He pushed a final button on the key pad, and what looked like a blast shield descended between the glass door on the Tyrant's cell and the rest of the prison. "You're never getting out again," the guard said as the blast shield slammed down.

Back at the camp, everyone was being treated by the medics. Some required merely a band-aid or some medicine, but some required more extensive treatment. Zeke and Harold had to have the entire area around where they were stabbed patched up, and Justin had to use a wheelchair till his leg stopped hurting. Chris and Chef regained their stature, but everyone was clearly shaken. The two hosts gathered the teams up at the main area by the cabins and made an announcement.

"Obviously, today's been an, erm, trying day. I'm sure you all hoped that meant there'd be no elimination tonight. Unfortunately for you, we've got a game show to run! I'm just gonna go ahead and say that the Rejects won that challenge since they had the most contestants left up, with Ezekiel, Bridgette, and Cody." The Rejects cheered, but Beth muttered "Where IS Cody?" "Who gives a rat's ass?" asked Duncan. "HOLD UP!" said Leshawna. "MY TEAM SHOULD WIN, SINCE I DEFEATED THE GUY!" "Don't push your luck, Leshawna," said Chris angrily. "NO, CHRIS!" shouted Leshawna. "You know what ya ugly hobo? I've had enough of your-"

Leshawna then went on about a 5-minute rant against Chris, using several words that are too vulgar for even this writer to describe. Chris was shocked once she had finished her tirade. "Well then, excuse YOU, Leshawna!" Just then, Harold waddled over behind Chris and whispered to him, "Did you hear that? She called you ugly! What are you gonna do, Chris?" Chris began fuming in response. "Did-DID YOU JUST CALL ME UGLY?! OH HECK NO, LESHAWNA!" screamed Chris. "YOU'RE ELIMINATED FROM THIS GAME!" "GOOD!" replied Leshawna, "BECAUSE I QUIT! MY GIRL GWEN HAD THE RIGHT IDEA! SO GOODBYE CHRIS, I HOPE TO NEVER GET BACK ON THIS SHITTY-ASS GAME SHOW EVER AGAIN! GOODBYE EVERYONE ELSE, IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN! EXCEPT YOU HAROLD, YA TRAITOROUS LITTLE SHIT, YOU CAN GO SUCK A DICK!" With that, Leshawna marched down to the Boat of Losers, and it drove off, with Leshawna still fuming.

*Confessional Begins*

DJ: Sooo, I guess Lindsay and I will have to make this alliance work on our own. *Facepalms* This better not be a repeat of Team Victory again.

*Confessional Ends*

Chris was still fuming. He was so angry that he could not say a word, so Chef stepped in to sign off for him. "Uh, this episode was certainly a thriller! So, um, tune in next time for an episode that'll be, uh, chiller. Right here on, Total Drama, Reloaded. And stuff. Yeah."

The contestants scattered, and Heather pulled Harold aside. "Nice work out there, nerd. You're getting nasty. That's good. Keep it up." Harold grinned and then walked away humming.

*Confessional Begins*

Harold: Yeah, she is DEFINITELY falling for me. The Harold-meister is winning it! Oooh snap! Sha-Harold!

*Confessional Ends*

Duncan stepped from the treeline behind Heather. "Seeing you be that nice," said Duncan, "Makes me wanna take a shower." "I'm not being nice," said Heather, "I'm manipulating him. As soon as I don't need him, I'll cut him loose." "And what about me?" asked Duncan. "We've had this conversation before," said Heather, cutting him off. "So," said Duncan, "Who's the mark?" "I'm glad you asked," grinned Heather.


End file.
